The Purple Purse and Domestic Violence

Although it took a popular public figure and a video, I think its awesome that society as a whole is openly talking about Domestic Violence-FINALLY.
 
As all of you know, I am a survivor of DV and I have now been abuse free for 10 years. In my healing process, I started mentoring to others and became an advocate against DV. The hardest challenge for Domestic Violence survivors is to try to find someone to listen to their story. Our society will watch reality shows(that are not realistic), fights scenes, horror movies where people get chopped up, but for the most part, it is hard for others to understand WHY a spouse would would beat his wife and quite often in front of their children. People that don't understand why once the survivor leaves that the survivor NEEDS to talk about the abuse out loud to heal.
I was told several times to just "move forward" or "you don't need to live in the past" because some people can't grasp why a survivor would stay with an abuser.
It is imperative that this silent abuse is talked about openly and I am so thankful that WE are talking about it now.
 
Kerry Washington is on a campaign to bring awareness to a tactic that abusers use(Col Kevin Landers did-my ex). It is called financial abuse.  
Financial Abuse information
 
Financial abuse along with emotional, physical and sexual abuse, manipulation, intimidation and threats are all intentional tactics used by an abuser aimed at entrapping the partner in the relationship. After the survivor leaves the relationship, financial abuse increases because the abuser tries to make it very difficult for the survivor to take care of herself and her children. Financial abuse, while less commonly understood, is one of the most powerful methods of keeping a survivor trapped in an abusive relationship and deeply diminishes her ability to stay safe after leaving an abusive relationship.   Research indicates that financial abuse is experienced in 98% of abusive relationships  and surveys of survivors reflect that concerns over their ability to provide financially for themselves and their children was one of the top reason for staying in or returning to a battering relationship. It is a tactic Col Kevin Landers used not only to try to convince me that I couldn't make it without him but without money I had no means to hire a good quality lawyer to defend myself in the courts. He and his high payed lawyer bounced me all over the court room and by the time he was done with me-I walked away from him with just the clothes on my back and a few garbage bags of personal items. Col Landers got our home, our possessions, our 4 children and our pets.

For those who manage to escape the abuse and survive initially, they often face overwhelming odds in obtaining long term security and safety. Ruined credit scores, sporadic employment histories and legal issues caused by the battering make it extremely difficult to gain independence, safety and long term security. Col Landers stole my birth certificate, my passport, my wallet with my social security card and debit cards. He and his second wife Melody Landers easily opened loans and credit cards in my name and it took me 6 months to bring my credit back to a good standing. Col Landers had convinced himself that after all that-I would run back to him. I did not, I survived and I am alive to now help others.
 
Kerry Washingtons campaign is called The Purple Purse Campaign. 
Purple Purse Brings Awarness to DV
The purple purse is really a symbol for the economic strength of a woman to be able to take her purse strings back and take care of herself and her family.
 
Once again-I am so thankful that we as a nation are now bringing awareness to Domestic Violence. Awareness is the ONLY way we can educate our children to break the cycle, help the victims leave their abusers and incarcerate the abusers with the stipulation that they MUST receive extensive counseling and anger management programs for the rest of their lives.
 
We are going to save lives just by openly talking about this horrible, silent abuse that happens everyday to millions.
If you are in an abusive relationship please contact me privately at 
tammany.girl@gmail.com
and I will help direct you to a safe place. 
If you know someone that is being abused please don't say "I shouldn't get involved" 
Oh yes you should and you can do this by simply calling 911.
For more information about my life with DV, please read this blog in its entirety. 

One of my favorite quotes to sum this entry up-
 
“I don't want to live in the kind of world where we don't look out for each other. Not just the people that are close to us, but anybody who needs a helping hand. I cant change the way anybody else thinks, or what they choose to do, but I can do my bit.” ~ Charles de Lint