I want to go back to the time that I referenced about losing
temporary custody of my children. In the blog entry dated February 20, 2012 I
wrote that I lost my home and physical custody of my kids because of lies Kevin
told to the police and court (see Feb. 20 Blog). I left the courtroom and walked methodically
outside. The sun was shining and I looked up. I stood there for a moment, just
taking in the sun on my face. Then, I came back to reality and I started to
walk towards my truck. As I walked, Kevin and Melody walked towards me. I just
looked at them in silence. I could not understand the hate and deception as
they looked at me and smiled. I had my arms wrapped around my waist in
protection and I remember I looked past Melody and into Kevin’s eyes. All I saw
was black …an evil smile came over him and I knew that my life would never be
the same. He had won the battle in the NC courtroom over our children and he
did not care that he had lied and had our daughter M lie and that he had
used her for his gain. He did not care that I did not want anything from him.
He did not care that I gave him everything from my soul. He did not care about our children. All he
cared about was that I suffered. That was his power in our 18 year marriage.
Kevin’s control was that I better know my place with him or he would make me
miserable. Because I was leaving my abuser, he promised to make my life a
living hell. He initially accomplished
his pledge to separate me from our 4 kids, yet one-by-one they continue to seek
me out and return to me. These reunions have discredited Kevin and his rage
continues as Kevin and his wife Melody continue to make recent false statements
to the court…YES, Lt. Col. Kevin Paul Landers, Sr. continues to provide false
statements to the court. He is a liar. Melody is known as a liar to many
persons in NC, TN, GA, Mexico and CO (search my YOU TUBE videos at
CatCall2010). Both try to make certain that I and the children suffer because NONE
of us want anything to do with Kevin or his wife.
Now, let us continue from the February 20, 2012 entry.
I had until midnight Sunday to return Justin and Amanda
to North Carolina. My NC attorney
requested that I return to Cumberland County immediately and that I should
leave Justin and Amanda in Georgia with my friend Steve and his family until we
knew the outcome of the emergency hearing. Amanda and Justin remained in GA
along with their older brother Kevin, Jr. I returned to NC the next day, a Thursday, for
a court hearing that morning. Per my
February 20th Blog entry, my readers know that I was ordered to
return J and A to their father.
Dropping A and J off with their father at our
Hamersley Road home in Fayetteville, NC was one of the hardest things I ever
had to do. I kept the children calm the entire 7 hour drive from GA to NC. I
stopped in a gas station in Hope Mill, NC and approached a police officer. I told
him what I had to do and that I was afraid what my abuser may do to me. I had
no idea what state of mind Kevin was in and he had already gotten away with
numerous lies. I asked the officer to accompany me because I wanted to protect
myself. This was 11:30pm on a Sunday night. The officer agreed to escort me to the
home. As we pulled up another police car
met us at the address. I saw Kevin walk
out of the front door. He had a very smug look on his face, a look of “winning”.
I got out of the truck and held Amanda and Justin’s hands. I had a hard time
letting go of their sweet little hands because I knew that it was going to be a
long time before I saw them again. I had a strong intuition that my battle for
these innocent children was going to be heart wrenching. I knew Kevin wanted to
play a hateful game. My older daughter M (12 years at this time) had wanted
to stay with her dad during our separation/divorce, so I had not seen her for
about 2 weeks. When M saw me, she came running out of the house and almost knocked
me over as she embraced me. I grabbed
her and she kept saying to me, “I am so sorry! I am so sorry! Please forgive me!
Dad told me to lie to the judge!” I did not know what she meant, but I remember
that I held her and whispered in her ear, “No matter what happens, you will
always be my daughter and no one can take that away. I love you.”
Melody, Kevin’s live-in girlfriend at the time came out of
the door, and called M back over to her. I remember everything started to
happen slowly. Every look on Kevin’s face. Every grin he had. Every movement
was so methodical. I held on to Justin and Amanda’s hands tighter. Then the
police officer brought me back out of my trance. He said, “You need to let the children
go.” I remember that I just looked at him and said, “I can’t”. He said, “You
have to.” I looked at Kevin and he laughed. He just looked at me and laughed
and then I became angry. I went back to the truck and grabbed a box with a 4
kitten litter that M's pet cat had given birth to. Four of them. How
ironic. FOUR baby kittens. Kevin looked at me and said, “I’m not taking care of
those”. I said, “Kevin they need their
mother and they’re M's kittens.” He looked at me and said, “That’s not my
problem.” The police officer told me to keep the kittens and get into the
truck. Looking back, I knew that the officer did not want to get involved with
a domestic dispute. I put the box of kittens back in the truck and then I
looked at A and J and told them I loved them. They grabbed on to me and
did not want to leave me. I remember I kneeled down to hold them. I refused to
let Kevin see me cry so I had no tears; I had nothing but anger towards the
hateful father of my children. I hated him. I still hate him. I told Amanda and
Justin to go to their father. As I got back into the truck, my son Kevin was
sitting in the passenger’s seat. He was old enough to choose who he wanted to
live with and he chose me. He did not speak a word but I felt his anger. Anger
towards his father. Anger towards me, his mother. I think my son also knew that
our entire lives were going to change because his parents could not work out this
insanity. When I backed out of the driveway, I looked back at Kevin, Sr. He was
waving and smiling at me. That evil smile of the hateful manipulator. A look I
had witnessed a million times. He looked like the devil and Melody was standing
right behind him with her hands on his shoulders. J, M and A
stood like statues with the paleness of sickness on their skin. All 3 were
crying.
By this Sunday evening, please recall that my attorney
Heather Nichols had been reprimanded by the judge and dismissed as counsel (see
prior Blog). Now I was fighting a different battle and in need of another
retainer to divorce Kevin and expose his violent abusive behavior. My
brother-in-law John Baker had agreed to loan me money for new counsel. However,
John had given a two-strike felon an opportunity to work with him in October
2004. David Reeves was the two strike felon of Roswell, GA. A decision John
came to regret. David had a criminal record involving Domestic Violence from
Gwinnett County, GA and then a second strike when he was convicted of beating a
minor child in either Fulton, DeKalb County. In September 2005, David was
charged with “Road Rage” and incarcerated. Upon his release, David intercepted
a total of $40,000 from TN and KY Rockford Recruiting, LLC clients and cashed
them at Bank of America as David Reeves Doing Business As Rockford Recruiting.
David Reeves stole all of the monies verses the 50% of all collections John had
provided him since 2004. So, “When It Rains It Pours”. With no money and facing his own financial
woes, John could no longer help me. David’s theft prevented John from paying
his Sept. & Oct. child support. David never has denied theft of the money. This
convicted abuser of children and women, offered to “help” me if I would agree
to move in with him as a “partner”…I refused. Upon my refusal, David filed
false “breaking & entering” charges against me. They were tossed out per
his reputation with local law enforcement. The police told me, “for your own
safety and the safety of your son, avoid Mr. Reeves.”
I had no funds to obtain counsel. I will blog more about my
eventual employment in New Jersey. But for now, please know that my parents had
made it clear that they were not an option. I had been out of their home for
18+ years and never had requested any help. When I reached out to my father and
mother, they made it clear that I needed to return to my abuser and “hang in
there.”
My family struggled with the things that Kevin lied
about. He knew how to manipulate them. My family had hardly been around Kevin
and I in our 18 year marriage. We averaged seeing them about once a year and
the times we did spend with them were short. My family chose to stand by Kevin.
We saw them once a year and I protected Kevin. I often had thought, “If I tell
my dad, he will kill Kevin”. Therefore, I feared telling my dad because of the
harm he would do to Kevin. When I did tell my dad, he told me that Kevin was
only trying to protect himself because of my drinking? Kevin had contacted my
family after writing his abuse admittance letter and told them he “may have gotten
a bit physical” with me, but it was only because “she is an alcoholic…she is a
drug addicted…she is neglectful to our kids…”
Whether I was all of these things or none of these things,
my mother and father should have inquired. Instead, the only time since
September 2005 that my parents called, was on March 6, 2006 when my mom called
me and told me to leave “Kevin and Melody alone. You chose to abandon your
children and you need to move on with your life”. Even after my mother was made
aware by my oldest children that I had spoken the truth and Kevin was the one
lying, she never called me again. My mother died in August 2008. My father has
never acknowledged his wrong in standing by Kevin. He still does not call me
nor my children.
My parents viewed “problems” in anyone’s life as being
alcohol related. So, when I told them of my being terribly beaten by Kevin,
they asked me “is it alcohol” “is it because Kevin has a drinking problem” and
I said “no”. Kevin and I rarely drank. Yet,
when my parents asked Kevin about drinking, he took the opportunity to say
“alcohol is the problem.” An answer they wanted to hear. Keep in mind, I come from a family of
recovered alcoholics so bad behavior in my family is automatically assumed that
it is alcohol related. Having said that,
let’s say I am and was all the things Kevin said I was. How can a parent be
passive about a husband’s abuses to their daughter? Breaking their daughter’s
nose. Breaking her ribs. Smashing their daughter’s face against a wall. A man,
the husband, their son-in-law throwing their own daughter down a staircase.
Hold a running power drill to her face.
Tie her up for hours on his weekdays off work while the kids were at
school. Lock her out of her home on a freezing cold night. A son-in-law that
sells their daughter to the highest bidder on Swinger ads. A man that displays
their daughter’s private nude pictures on the World Wide Web. My parents chose
to stand by a man who chokes his wife until she passes out. My parents wanted
me to stand by Kevin Landers – I don’t think so. When I refused to return to my
abuser, my own mother and father turned their back on me. One thing I can say
about the Lander’s, lie, cheat, beat or steal…THE LANDERS STICK TOGETHER.
Upon leaving my 3 youngest kids with Lt. Col. Kevin
Landers of Hicksville High School, New York, I was driving down the highway and
I lost my “composure”. I started crying. A soulful cry that I can only explain
like this:
I felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest by
the bare hands of Kevin Landers while I was still alive. A pain that I had never
felt before. The punches and blows were one type of pain. This type of pain was
something completely different. I knew I was not going to die this evening, but
I did know that every strand of my motherhood had just been ripped away from me
by a man who promised he would make my life a living hell. The most extreme
infernos of hell began the day I had to say goodbye to my babies because my
husband cared more about winning than letting go. Kevin cared more about his
reputation than saving his children. Kevin cared more about his military status
than protecting our 4 kids from a war that he started. Kevin “the Solider” or Kevin
“the Demon”? You decide after I continue to tell the rest of my story in
continued entries.
“Many human beings need no supernatural mentoring to commit acts of savagery; some people are devils in their own right, their telltale horns having grown inward to facilitate their disguise” ~Dean Koontz
REST…REGROUP…RETURN
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