“There's only one thing that can guarantee our failure, and that's if we quit.”

This week has been off to a good start. John and I had a nice, relaxing weekend.
I haven't spoken about John in my prior blogs. As you all know-he is my best freind, lover and soul mate. John and I have been through some real challenges together. I think most relationships could have not survived what ours has. In all the hurdles and isanity from our pasts, not once did our devotion and love for each other ever fail. There was never a doubt or fear that we would lose each other. With each challenge we faced, we actually clung to each other even harder knowing that there was NOTHING that could seperate us.
John is one the most confident, loving, loyal, and spiritual man I have ever met. I admire his dedication to himself, me, our children, and God. We balance each other. His calm, quiet, confident state of mind compliments my somewhat louder, unorganized, indesisive moments.
I could have not asked God for a better man for me, or a better father-figure for my kids. I watched John with his children for many years. I always knew he was a very loving, devoted father. I am very lucky to have him in my life.
Let me switch gears here and talk about my videos. As you all know, they continue to get deleted. I knew that this would happen and it in a way, tells me that my videos have impacted my ex-husband and his wife(you now know who they are) because they have so much to hide. By them trying to activiely get the videos deleted tells all of us that my stories I tell are the truth. Why would they even care to put so much time in to try to silence me, or ban Justin from no contact with his siblings? My ex-husband's actions speak volumes against the lies told and this is a good thing. I know Justin may be putting up with some turmoil but he knows we love him and want him to be a part of us. I will continue to make more videos and post them. My ex- husband can get the videos deleted, but he has children that remember all and that is something he cannot delete. Having said that, I will no longer speak about my ex-husband in the videos. After over 2'500 views combined, my story has been told and believed. I will continue to make videos of memories and thoughts as I want there to be recorded moments for my little boy to see one day.
I have no anxiety, no fears. I feel very calm, peaceful, and rejuvinated. I have strength today to shine light on the evils hidden by my(our) abuser. No more shadows for I am determined to shine the light.

"Evil is like a shadow--it has no real substance of its own, it is simply a lack of light. You cannot cause a shadow to disappear by trying to fight it, stamp on it, by railing against it, or any other form of emotional or physical resistance. In order to cause a shadow to disappear, you must shine light on it."