Living Lies-The Landers Legacy Continues...

John's father has asked me to help him with the Baker ancestry and I am so happy to help. I love learning about family histories, viewing family photo albums and seeing memorabilia especially from my own family history. In my family, every Christmas my Mom and Dad would pull out the old film reels of our past and we would watch as a family laughing, crying and just remembering all the good moments we had. As young children, we may not have remembered the celebrations with our families and that is why pictures and videos are so important. It brings you back to that moment in time and helps remind you that in the midst of some of the insanities, there were happy moments as well and we all want to hold on to “the happy.” After both of my parents died, I treasured the journals, pictures, and other tangible items that were given to me. I often go back and read the writings of my father and smile at the pictures of the past.

When I was married to my ex husband Kevin Sr., we went to visit his mom Becky and father Jim one Christmas while they were living in Long Island, NY. Kevin's father Jim was sharing with me some of their family history and told me he had reel films he had taken over the years. I asked him if he could show them to me. In their house in Hicksville, NY he pulled out the screen and the movie reels. It was joyful to go into Kevin Sr. past because he was now my husband and I felt it important to be a part of the Landers family since I had become a part of Kevin’s family through marriage. I treasured looking at the family pictures and watching the home movies. I knew how important it was to save keepsakes from our past so that our children could have something to hold onto. I knew that when Kevin Sr. and I started our family, I was going to carry on the traditions of my parents. Having 4 children, I couldn't save everything but I saved the things that I knew would mean something to them when they became adults.

My oldest son loved Match Box Cars. As a matter of fact, his grandfather Jim (Kevin's father) started buying his grandsons Hess Toy Trucks every Christmas. They were meant to be collector’s items so the boys couldn't play with them, but those were definite memories I put away for my boys. My oldest son had quite a collection of Match Box Cars and when he grew out of them, I asked him to pick out his favorites so I could put them away for him. He also had an old fishing box that use to be his fathers. Kevin Sr.’s maternal grandfather gave it to him and then Becky (Kevin’s mom) gave it to us to give to our son. Our oldest son was very excited to have that and treasured it. He also had his father’s Teddy Bear. He slept with that teddy bear for several years and then that bear was passed on to Justin.

Our daughters loved to play dress-up and they had many costumes and fun clothes in their “dress-up box.” Their favorite outfits were dresses hand sewn by their Grandmother (Becky Landers). My girls loved to watch "Little House on The Prairie" so Becky/MawGaw made them "Mary" and "Laura" Ingles dresses and the girls loved wearing them while watching the TV show. My mother also gave me my first communion dress(below) and I allowed my girls to play dress up with it as well. What a very devastating feeling that an item like this ended up in Kevin Sr. and Melody's trash pile. My girls also had their favorite baby dolls, Barbie dolls, and special toys. As they outgrew them, I put those items away so my girls could share those things with their daughters one day.

My youngest son loved playing with action figures. He called them "his guys." I bought him a Tupperware box with a handle so he could carry them wherever he went. His favorite movie was Toy Story so I bought him Toy Story “Woody” and “Buzz Light Year” costumes and he wore them everywhere!

When my son(JRL) was a baby, I would call him "Little Booger." His sister ANL (who is only 18 months older than him) couldn't say "Booger" so she called him "Whittle Bogey" in her sweet voice. The name Bogey stuck and that became his nickname. One weekend, on my way to the local thrift shop (my kids loved to spend their allowance at the thrift stores) my older daughter MYL came across a stuffed doll and on the shirt it had the name "Bogey." She was so excited and bought it for her baby brother with her allowance. Her little brother treasured that stuffed animal. It was an item I was definitely going to save for him to share with his children one day.

Of course, I saved all of their special art projects, cards and creations over the years. I saved report cards, letters to me and their father, and things that were important to them. I saved their “coming home” from the hospital outfits. My sons wore their father’s outfit that he came home in after he was born. An outfit that Kevin's mother Becky gave to me.  My daughters wore dresses that their grandmother Becky made for them with adorable bonnets. I wrapped each child in a hand crochet blanket that their great Grandmother (MawMaw) made for them. I saved all of these items to pass on to my children so that they could have happy memories from their childhood.

Each year, I had my children pick out a Christmas ornament. I wrote on the bottom, the date and the name of the child. My goal was to hand them their ornaments on their wedding days so that they could start their own traditions.

I had videos, tape recording of them talking and thousands of pictures of our days together. I had a HUGE collection of children's books that were to be past to my children so that one day they could share them with my grandchildren. Who throws away books? My goal was to have a legacy for my children. Not the legacy of an unstable home, but the legacy of the happy moments we shared as a family.

Kevin Sr.'s grandmother made quilts and I had several she had made for us. I treasured those quilts because she put so much time and love into them. As a matter of fact, some of the leftover fabric that Becky would use to make her grandchildren clothes were used in the quilts that MawMaw made. These quilts were intertwined with memories through the fabric and MawMaw would sew a little note that said-"Made with love by MawMaw. These beautiful quilts also ended up in the garbage. I do believe that MawMaw's heart was crushed in heaven to see her "love creations" destroyed by hateful people-her grandchildren.

All the above mentioned items have been thrown away. EVERY single one of them. Thrown away by a hateful man Colonel Kevin P Landers. Per my children, their father and his second wife Melody Wilson Landers had the children witness the dumping of these items with the reasoning that, “your whore mom did nothing but collect shit.” “She just hordes crap.”

This must be a behavior that runs in the family because John's ex wife Kelly did the same.

When Kelly told John to leave their home in 2005, he moved in with a friend until their divorce was final.

John's oldest son (15yrs at the time) did not want to live with Kelly (his mom was making plans to send him to a juvenile detention type boarding school per the oldest not denouncing his father). He wanted to live with John so the 15yr old son went to a judge and told him that he wanted to be with his dad. That request was granted and NDB moved in with John. Kelly had called John and told him that she was moving into a new home and that John needed to get the items that he wanted or she was going to throw them away. When John and NDB pulled up to the empty home, ALL of their oldest son’s items were on the front lawn to include a sizable baby portrait, his baby photo albums, his baby crib and a huge array of his things. NDB started crying because he was so hurt that his mother, Kelly, would just put his memorabilia on the street curb to be hauled off by the garbage company. Kelly was angry because NDB had a choice of who to live with and chose his father. NDB and 3 other of John’s 5 children had expressed a desire to be with Dad. John however did not want to separate the kids(unlike Kevin Sr.) and originally told NDB to stay with mom so that all the kids could be united. This of course, changed once Kelly started being mean to NDB and threatening him with incarceration- she is hateful. Kelly's hatred also stemmed onto my own children. In a visitation with his father(Kevin Sr.), my youngest son JRL came home and I noticed his head had been shaved. It was fine with me, but JRL came running up to me crying and said-"Aunt Kelly made me shave my head because she didn't like my hair." Let me explain-Justin wanted to grow his hair out and look more like a "skateboarder." Justin has beautiful, thick hair and I didn't mind that he was going for this look. I do believe that Kelly was shaving JRL head out of vengeance and she broke a sweet, vulnerable 8 years olds heart because she was mad. This is a memory that JRL shared with me recently(very upset) and it still infuriates me that a women/mother could do this to a child. It is unforgivable. Because of these choices, a Landers family pattern was executed. In the Landers family, they are very mean if they don't get their way no matter if it is innocent children or not. It is important to tell this story because Kelly tries to portray herself as an outstanding, caring mother. Loving mothers do not do this to their children and I am sure it is a moment that NDB will never forget.

I know that Kelly has thrown away every memory of John.  When John went to pick up his items, there were no old family memorabilia – WWII uniform; photos; Kelly sold a 200 year old bedroom furniture set that was in John’s mother’s family. John’s mom offered to buy it from Kelly and Kelly agreed but sold the furniture anyway.  I also would venture to say that Kevin and Kelly's parents also threw away pictures and videos of our family gatherings. As a matter of fact, when NDB graduated from high school, Jim Landers made a family video of NDB’s pee-wee through high school sports years and edited his father out of the final product…NDB was talking to his dad daily, so there was no need to claim “protecting NDB from his Dad.”  There were pictures of his siblings, his mom and Jim and Becky but not one picture of John. This is a very unstable, abusive family that has a lot to hide and, even at the expense of our 9 children, they will do anything to include trying to brainwash the kids to hide their dirty little secrets. These sick adults thought that by wiping away any existence of me and John that the children would forget. But children NEVER forget-even as young as 6 years old. The same age John's 4 younger children were when Kelly lied to a judge to get him out of their lives. Another sad thing is that when my children started to embrace me, their late paternal grandfather Jim and their paternal grandmother Becky (Mawgaw) decided to have nothing to do with my children. What kind of loving grandparents disregard their own grandchildren in order to protect their abusive son? This family works very diligently to hide the 'family secrets." I have hopes that some or all of our 9 children will break the silence and discuss the past/present and hopefully the legacy of an abusive and unstable family will surface and be addressed/resolved.

Please note that my family is far from being the perfect family. I grew up in a family that would say, "We don't need to live in the past." Great sentiment except for some key factors. My maternal grandfather physically, sexually and verbally abused his wife and children (one of his daughters being my mother). Something that was unknown to us until my cousin exposed the family secrets. I knew it was true because not one of my aunts or my mother denied it. However, they made a firm stance that it will NEVER be talked about again. My grandfather sat at our table during family reunions, holidays and we were all to pretend that there wasn't an abuser in the room. Once I started having children of my own, they were not allowed to be around my grandfather alone. It disgusted me that he could damage his wife and rape his children and get away with it because he was getting too old to abuse any longer. But, my mother asked me to keep my mouth shut and out of respect to her, I never held him accountable. Until the day he died, my grandfather continued to be verbally abusive to my grandmother to the point that she didn't even want to see him in the nursing home. Yet, when he died he was honored as a loving father, good husband and great friend. Looking around at all the people at the funeral, crying over a monster of a man - it made me sick. One notable person absent of any tears was his widow…my grandmother. She just sat stoned faced with no expression. It was as if she was going through the traditional ceremony because that was expected but to be honest I think she felt a sense of relief that she didn't have to face him any longer. She was free from his abuse and for the first time I think my Grandma was truly happy and relieved to be able to do what she wanted to do without having to worry about the demands of her abuser - my grandfather. 

I learned a lot from my grandmother after my grandfather's death. It opened up my eyes and made me realize that I did have a choice to leave Kevin if I wanted to. I DID NOT want to feel like I had to live out the rest of my days with an abusive man like my grandmother did. I had hoped that Kevin Sr. would change because I really did not want to go through a divorce and I sure did not want my kids to experience the divorce. But Kevin refused to change and to be honest, he truly thought I would never leave him. Not after 18 years of marriage and 4 kids. But, when he went after my oldest son one evening in a rage because my son was trying to protect me, I knew it was time to break the cycle of abuse in my life and it had to start in my home.

There was not a speech Colonel Kevin P Landers could give publicly while I was married to him, that he didn't cry when he mentioned my name. My children, his parents and others remember this. Why? Because I stood by him, hid his secrets and never exposed him. And in return, he was beating me, cursed me…he was just VERY mean to me and he knew it.

When I filed for divorce on April 11th, 2005, I was terrified. I knew Col Kevin P Landers was going to make my life a living hell and he did. My parents wanted to counsel me and Kevin Sr. to try to "save our marriage" but there was no marriage left to save. I did not love him any longer and I wanted my kids to have a chance to heal. I did not want to teach my children that abuse is ok as long as we keep it quiet and a secret. I did not want my children to feel like they couldn't speak out because they would be "disrespectful?" or 'living in the past" like the way I grew up. "Keeping it in the family" was not going to be an option for me. I did not want to pretend that everything was happy now that Kevin Sr. was deployed thus the abuse had slowed…and he could return home and still sit at the head of the table because he's "the man of the house." I refuse to accept the fact that Kevin Sr. could methodically damaged 5 people’s lives after our divorce because he hated me and was going to make me suffer by using our kids. Yet, I am the one who is holding the grudge? I did not want to be the stoned-faced wife at Kevin Sr.'s funeral (like my Grandmother) because I had no more emotion to give. I have two primary emotions today – Resentment & Relief. Resentment towards Kevin for all of his abuse and Relief that he could no longer abuse me since I left him. I decided I was not going to waste the rest of my years on earth making excuses for an abusive man that lies, cheats and has no regard for anyone but himself. And the most important thing, I was not going to ask my children to pretend that we didn't live in a home riddled with abuse because I had been taught that such behavior was not to be acknowledged or discussed…keep it a "family secret."

It has been said that I write in this blog to try to ruin Colonel Kevin Paul Landers US Army career. That was never my intention. This blog is the ONLY way I can expose my life with an abusive man. This blog is also a means to defend all the lies that have been told about me, John and our children by Col. Kevin P Landers, Kelly Landers Baker Barnes and Melody Morrison Wilson Landers. My voice on this blog is disrupting the fact that these 3 people are trying to cover up all their abuses and lies and I am not going to let that happen. I am sick and tired of lying to protect abusers. I regret doing it for my grandfather, but I will have no more regrets because I stood up and used my voice. MY VOICE truly is the strongest weapon I have.

Going through a divorce is hard enough on the children involved.  But what is even more harmful on the children, is when you have parents that care more about "teaching their ex spouse a lesson for choosing to leave”. Kevin and Kelly have a history of using the children as pawns. Colonel Kevin P. Landers decided that he was going to take our children away from me so that I would go back to him. His plan didn't work because I didn't want to live with an abuser any longer. Kelly Landers Baker Barnes presented herself in the courtroom as an abused woman and Judge Johnny Caldwell (who was eventually disbarred for inappropriate relationships/behavior with female clients) decided that he was going to use John as an example in hopes (my opinion) that he may have a chance to have a fling with Kelly. One of Kelly and Kevin’s plans was to disrupt John’s income by having last minute hearings for John to answer to false allegations. Hearings called last minute on the same days that John was to meet with paying clients. However, this ploy did NOT go as planned. Kevin was to pay Kelly $2,000-a-month so she could survive and John being locked up for inability to pay all bills and child support (about $7,000-a-month) would mean that I had nowhere to go so, in Kevin and Kelly’s mind, I would return to Kevin after he taught me a lesson. John and Judge Caldwell had a “falling out”; John left GA and Kevin refused to pay Kelly because John was not incarcerated…real fine brother and sister combo.

Almost 11 years have passed since April 2005 and everything is coming to a head now. My 4 children have broken free from their father and his abuses. And John's children are starting to ask questions. The time has come for Kevin and Kelly to face the fact that their being liars is going to be exposed sooner than they think. And when this happens, John and I will be accessible (as I am currently with my kids) to pick of the pieces of our children's broken hearts because of an unstable, abusive Landers family that has a lot to hide.

Truth lasts;

 lies are here today, gone tomorrow.

Evil scheming distorts the schemer;

peace-planning brings joy to the planner.

No evil can overwhelm a good person,

but the wicked have their hands full of it.

God can’t stomach liars;

He loves the company of those who keep their word. ~Proverbs 12:19-22

 I want to reiterate that although all the tangible memories that Kevin and Kelly have thrown away are gone forever, they cannot throw away children's memories. It is cruel that Kevin and Kelly threw away any physical memory of their pasts because they hate me and John, but they will NEVER be able to take away the childhood memories of 9 kids. I always say that children remember the very happy and the very sad times. They do not remember the in-betweens. I can write that with conviction because I once was a child that lived in an unstable home that became more stable because my parents truly tried to fix what was broken.

In the end, the children will know the truth as they are learning already. My blog has been a segue to opening up doors that these families want to stay closed and locked. I refuse to stay silent especially for the sake of the children that are still struggling with all of this chaos and insanity. Our children need to know the truth so they can put the pieces of their lives together. If they can do that, then they have a better chance of dealing with any issue they are facing now and in the future. It helps them (especially the Baker children) understand why their Daddy is not in their lives and why their Mom is so angry. She has a lot to hide. Parental Alienation is a cruel act that Kelly continues to inflict on her children. It's controlling. It's mean and it is abuse.

Having said all this, although tangible memories have been thrown away forever, new ones can be made. I have my 4 children active in my life so we are trying to start a new chapter to a story that is not filled with abuse but with healing, strength and love. I do feel very strongly that John's children will seek him out soon and then they can also have a fresh start-not replacing their mom but to include their Dad. It is imperative that all 9 of these children have something to hold onto from me, John, Kevin and Kelly. They deserve a legacy not riddled with lies- but a legacy of a brand new start knowing that they are loved by all of us. 

Regroup...Rest...Return

In closing, it has been brought to my attention that false allegations by Melody Morrison Wilson Landers are being made against me once again. Allegations of me being forbidden to write on this blog and all of my other social media accounts. I looked up the policies of each of my social media sites and if I was violating a court order, all of my social media sites would be removed. Not one site has been removed which allows me, once again, to conclude that Melody is slandering my name and falsifying court documents to try to stop me from using my voice. Melody makes fake accounts in my name, then screen shots those fake accounts and claims that it is me writing. Then she presents these lies to friends, family, children –anyone that will listen. She also tries to present these lies to the courts. She claims that I have sent emails to their churches, schools and other businesses. If there are messages that have been sent to these places, then someone needs to check Melody's computer or other devices because I can prove it is not me. The courts are not as ignorant as Melody desires. These items are not admissible and it is becoming more evident that Melody Morrison Wilson Landers is a stalker trying to defame my name by posing as me, pretending to be my children and lying to the courts.

What I write can be backed up by the children, neighbors, family and friends. All Melody has are lies she concocted on her computer.

"U.S. law prohibits defamation, that is, oral or written falsehoods that hold the subject up to scorn or ridicule. Every negative statement you make about a living person must be true and, ideally, supported by evidence.”