Make friends with nobodies; don’t be the great somebody...

It amazes me how the more happier and loved John and I become, the more my ex husband LTC. Kevin Landers and his wife Melody Wilson lash out with their words or accusations. I am beginning to understand how our haters think. It is obvious that their happiness is based more on how the ones they despise suffer, than the happiness of the ones that are currently in their lives. Their priorities are confusing to all of us and their actions and words continue to move around in an endless circle of lies and unstable behaviors. There are times that I view their predictable behaviors as embarrassingly comical sometimes. Will they ever have priorities, grow up and let go? I do feel sorry for the kids for haivng to endure their insanities sometimes.
 
This time of year can be taken as a time to reflect on all the love and blessings we all have in our lives or it can be viewed as-"I have more proclaimed happiness than "them" because of "this" and "this and "this". There is no "happiness or blessings gauge" from God. He has given us the gift to choose our happiness. John and I have decided that we will embrace whatever child, family member or friend who chooses to want to be a part of us and the ones that may choose not to-we know that the choices they make are what is best for them.
After all the hate-JB and I choose to be happy and allow our haters to choose how they want to live and act. 
So in this holiday season we are so very thankful that all our children are safe and taken care of. Yes-we will always have challenges with our ex's Kevin and Kelly. Their hate for us is stronger than their love for themselves or our children. It is evident in their words and actions. This is something John and I have had to let go of for ourselves and our children. As our children get older, they will make choices regardless of me, John, or Kevin and Kelly's wishes for them. Kevin's wife Melody claims that she has some type of influence as a "Mom" figure but quite honestly-the children view her as a very immature, unstable woman who is not trust worthy. Her influence in not substantial at all to the kids-thank God. However, I do believe that Kelly's current husband Craig is a good stepfather to John's 4 younger kids. We are thankful for that.   

John and I have never hoped our kids hated our ex's. This is a very cruel, mean, abusive action to inflict on kids that should be allowed to love whomever they choose. We also have never put conditions on their love for their father, mother or another. God does not condone parents that lie to their children nor be the example of someone that hates another. God hopes that we adults will mature with age and experience but some parents choose more anger and destruction over hate and redemption for another. If a parents daily obsession is to destroy or dilute a child's memory of a loved one-to include a sibling- they will be punished severely whether through their children's disappointment of betrayal or Gods wrath. That time has come today and will continue one child at a time until ALL the truths unveil. John and I will and have sat quietly to give our children the UN-influeneced decision to understand what the truths really are. Some of our kids already see the truth and the rest of our children will see when they choose to. I will rejoice when all of our children come together and that day is coming sooner than later. It will be a freeing moment for the kids and a redeeming moment for John and I. God will answer this prayer because he loves His children.

In the midst of the continued actions by our haters, John and I do not believe or listen to the hateful words or lies. We have our truths in legal documents and writings by others that have helped us. God has blessed us with wonderful mentors and friends. It is a true waste of our precious time to engage or listen to "those people" John and I have committed to each other years ago that nothing or anyone will be allowed to penetrate the love we have for one another. If we allow that, then it will affect how we are viewed by our peers, family and most importantly-our kids.  We know who we are, where we've come from, what mistakes we have made. We know we are not perfect and we do have the confidence to admit what our downfalls are and have asked for forgiveness. Forgiveness that we have received and deserve. We confirm everyday with each other that we will not allow any negative, evil force to enter the happiness John and I deserve and have worked hard for. Just as we want our children to know that we will embrace them no matter who the choose to love, we hope that our children will give us the same grace to love each other or anyone else that we choose to embrace. We are blessed that we are being embraced. It is the way God wants us all to live.
So, in lou of the holiday season upon us and our eldest daughter and her guy coming to spend time with John and I, here is one of my treasured bible verses that sums up so very gracefully what I am trying to say above.

"Love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.

 Don’t burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant. Don’t quit in hard times; pray all the harder. Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality.
 Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath. Laugh with your happy friends when they’re happy; share tears when they’re down. Get along with each other; don’t be stuck-up. Make friends with nobodies; don’t be the great somebody.
 Don’t hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you’ve got it in you, get along with everybody. Don’t insist on getting even; that’s not for you to do. “I’ll do the judging,” says God. “I’ll take care of it.”
 Our Scriptures tell us that if you see your enemy hungry, go buy that person lunch, or if he’s thirsty, get him a drink. Your generosity will surprise him with goodness. Don’t let evil get the best of you; get the best of evil by doing good."  
Romans 12:9-21 (MSSG)

Merry Christmas. Be loving and accept love and never forget that we need both.