“Justin, who taught you how to ride a bike?” His response was simple.
I taught myself because I want to ride with Kevin. I held back my tears and said-
"Well, I guess its time to buy you your own bike then."
As you can see in the picture above, Justin has his first set of wheels but continued to look at his feet when he pedaled which explains some of the scars on his legs. As his step-mother says-"crazy child"
I will agree with Melody. He is crazy but a wonderful crazy. A kind of crazy that makes you giggle, or put your hands over your eyes in fear that he will hurt himself. Justin is an adventurer. He has been since he started crawling and I was there to watch his personality form into the boy he became. I am the mother of this crazy child and in love with every ounce of him.
Justin is also off the charts smart, funny, loving and he was as I called him-"My sweet cuddle-bug." I love the skin on his soul because half of his skin is mine. He will never especially forget the moments we shared together when his siblings were at school. It was just me and Bogey during the day and he and I have a very special connection that cannot be replaced or forgotten.
I was there in the moments that Melody cannot replace and although I have lost time-I know Justin NEVER forgets anything. His mind imprints words, actions and memories forever. As a wonderful teacher once said to me-
"Your son has a photographic memory."
....a memory that is able to retain facts, appearances, etc, in precise detail, often after only a very short view of or exposure to them.....
I am so thankful for this. Justin does not forget anything and retains things in such great detail. This is going to help me and my relationship with Justin and I look forward to the day that he and I can reunite. I have prayed that Justin's baby photo album was not destroyed but I know in my heart that it no longer exists.
However, I have many photos from my and Kevin Sr's shared computer hard drive along with many other informative documents that will become useful later.
As far as these two boys-
These brothers have lost so much time together because of hate and insecurities from their dad. I am so thankful today that as these two young men get reacquainted even with the demands by their father and regardless of the manipulations ensued on them, their "brother ship" will become strong again. In the end, their father, Kevin Landers Sr., will eventually lose the control that he commands over our children out of his insecurities and our 4 kids will love each other openly without fear of prosecution by their dad. I have never prosecuted my children when they have tried to love their father openly in spite of his choices in his life.
I have been waiting for this day for 9 years now. Thank you God.
I step back gracefully with quiet happiness because I love my boys more than I despise "the others." I have watched these two brothers grow from the day they were united on Sept, 28th, 1996 and I have many more stories to share that no one else can. I am the only one that holds their childhood memories and I have the right to speak out loud without control, threats or fear of punishment. It’s in an effort to remind my children to remember the happy moments in their childhood. I know Justin has been filled with lies about me and his past but I also know my son very well. My choice to be a stay-at- home mom was to spend countless hours with my children and I enjoyed every moment with them. I know all of them very well. Justin does not believe the lies and he is staying quiet until he can be free from the controlled silence in his current home. His silence is coming to an end very quickly and I am ready for his embrace along with his sisters and the rest of his family.
I am always telling stories to KJ, and my girls when I have the chance and I won't stop. Sharing happy memories is very important for their hearts. These 4 kids have been through enough pain already. They need the joy and I hold all their happy memores in my mind. So do they. They are just afraid to speak them out loud. but, I won't have that. These children have voices and memories. It's imperative that they not only share them with me but with each other. What their father and Melody hates is that I am also a part of those happy memories in their childhood. Kevin Sr. needs to stop all this silence and allow our children to speak OUT LOUD about both of us. Kevin Sr. is starting to appear like an old, cranky, immature man. He reminds me of my grandpa Nolan who was no man at all.
So here is my goal. My mind is ready to open up and scream to the world that these children also had happy moments in their lives as children.
I am going to publicly document our happy memories as a family. I am creating another blog dedicated to my 4 children. This blog will be filled with celebrated events that we all shared as a family. Although we had moments of pain-we also had moments of complete joy and I want my children to remember the wonderful parts of their lives.
I will post the link soon.
As far as Justin and his big Bro KJ-
I hope they will continue to stay in contact.
Keep riding together my sons-I love you.
I remember my old neighbors well. I can testify that Cathie Landers was not just a great stay-at-home-mom during the time we were neighbors, but she also was a great neighbor and friend. She exemplified love, grace, cheerfulness, kindness, generosity, and unselfishness as a mom, wife, and neighbor. I only wish I had not had to move bc somewhere I wonder and wish that if we all had been neighbors longer, there might have remained a solid support system in place to care and watch over each other. I have many happy memories of the neighbors and Cathie and I hanging out as we all enjoyed each other's company as the kids played. On paper, people might think we were pretty boring as most of us were chipper but yet on the quiet side, fun-loving but extremely tame and conservative, Jesus-loving with grace but never preachy judgment. If I could hand select my neighbors today, I'd take people like Cathie, C, J, and a few other neighbors there who were awesome. I can remember a time when Kevin's leadership increased; Cathie worried about being the good military wife in having to deal with petty unit squabbles and immature snitty behavior of some of the other wives. She tried her best and pursued authenticity with class instead of trying to act classy and fake as so many might. She was a great mom to her kids during the time I knew her. I don't hesitate to say that. Don't lose your identity, Cathie. Don't let it disappear with any sadness, regrets, or frustration. You dedicated so much to your kids when I knew you, and somewhere life, things, and people beat you down and stole your identity--the Cathie we knew. But, 'she' is there...not quite the same, but wiser from life, experiences, mistakes, and grace. Stay humble. You always were when you were my neighbor. I have good memories of you, Cathie. Thank you for being a great stay-at-home-mom along side of us who lived around you.
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