I had another check up with my wonderful doctors. My
epilepsy is contained and I have been seizure free for almost 2 years now. Many
have asked questions about my past and my diagnosis so I want to share with you
the history of my epilepsy.
epilepsy is contained and I have been seizure free for almost 2 years now. Many
have asked questions about my past and my diagnosis so I want to share with you
the history of my epilepsy.
After we moved back from England and left that world behind,
we were stationed at Fort Belvoir, VA. I
have talked about Fort Belvoir in many past entries. It was a great location. I
also talked about England and the time, I believe, my brain damage was accelerated
after I was thrown across the living room and my head slammed into the corner
of the stone fireplace in our home.
we were stationed at Fort Belvoir, VA. I
have talked about Fort Belvoir in many past entries. It was a great location. I
also talked about England and the time, I believe, my brain damage was accelerated
after I was thrown across the living room and my head slammed into the corner
of the stone fireplace in our home.
There were moments when I would be driving and I had to pull
over because I felt like I was going to faint. I determined to myself that I
was dehydrated or tired, but now I know that it was scar tissue growing on my
brain. I was healthy and always got a great report on my yearly checkups. My
blood pressure, heart, pap smears were all great and I was very athletic, but
there were times, that I felt “weird” .
over because I felt like I was going to faint. I determined to myself that I
was dehydrated or tired, but now I know that it was scar tissue growing on my
brain. I was healthy and always got a great report on my yearly checkups. My
blood pressure, heart, pap smears were all great and I was very athletic, but
there were times, that I felt “weird” .
Going through my divorce, I equated my dizziness or fainting
to the stress of battling my ex husband but now I know that it was his
signature on my brain-my epilepsy- raising its ugly head. But, I never went to
the doctors. Once I got away from my ex, and moved to Mexico, everything seemed
to be ok with my health. I was still dealing with emotional battles with the
divorce and custody, reoccurring nightmares of his beating me but I felt ok
physically.
to the stress of battling my ex husband but now I know that it was his
signature on my brain-my epilepsy- raising its ugly head. But, I never went to
the doctors. Once I got away from my ex, and moved to Mexico, everything seemed
to be ok with my health. I was still dealing with emotional battles with the
divorce and custody, reoccurring nightmares of his beating me but I felt ok
physically.
Out of the blue, in Aug 2008 I got an email from my
ex-husband. He wanted to send my daughter Amanda to me in Mexico. Of course I
said yes. Amanda was here for 3 months in 2008 and then I went into a legal
battle with her father. He refused to send the proper paper work and I was
forced to contact the IG at Fort Carson. General Grahm was prevalent at this time
and the IG was Daniel Parker. But, Amanda’s time ran out here in Mexico legally,
and Kevin forced her back. To Kevin-it was a sick game at the expense of his
daughter. After Amanda left, her father and step-mother refused me to have
contact with Amanda. I had no idea where Amanda was and it was very frightening
to me. I eventually found Amanda in a treatment center. It was called Merridell
in Texas and I knew I would be on an uphill battle with Kevin. My fainting and
fatigue- I thought it was the stress over my children, but I learned that it
was so much more-it was Epilepsy.
ex-husband. He wanted to send my daughter Amanda to me in Mexico. Of course I
said yes. Amanda was here for 3 months in 2008 and then I went into a legal
battle with her father. He refused to send the proper paper work and I was
forced to contact the IG at Fort Carson. General Grahm was prevalent at this time
and the IG was Daniel Parker. But, Amanda’s time ran out here in Mexico legally,
and Kevin forced her back. To Kevin-it was a sick game at the expense of his
daughter. After Amanda left, her father and step-mother refused me to have
contact with Amanda. I had no idea where Amanda was and it was very frightening
to me. I eventually found Amanda in a treatment center. It was called Merridell
in Texas and I knew I would be on an uphill battle with Kevin. My fainting and
fatigue- I thought it was the stress over my children, but I learned that it
was so much more-it was Epilepsy.
After a year, I once again received an email from my ex. The
email is copy/pasted as follows:
email is copy/pasted as follows:
FROM:
· Landers, Kevin P Sr LTC....
TO:
Tuesday, June 16, 2009 11:50 PM
Catherine,
I think at this time it is best if Amanda join you permenantly. I am willing to
go back to North Carolina and change the court order to give you primary
custody while I have secondary custody of Amanda only. The order would not
change the arrangement with Justin. You would gain primary
custody of Amanda with no support in that I am supporting Justin.
If agreed upon, the change in court document will obviously take some time so I
will be at the mercy of the Court system in order to make this change. This
will give you Amanda, which you wanted, and will appease Amanda. I cannot
guarantee if the courts will allow this to happen but I am willing to try. If
we start heading down the same road of ugliness that we have experienced in the
past, then I will look for alternative means. I am prepared to relinquish
primary custody of her.
Your thoughts?
Kevin
Kevin P. Landers Sr.
Commander
4th Engineer Battalion
Fort Carson, Colorado
I think at this time it is best if Amanda join you permenantly. I am willing to
go back to North Carolina and change the court order to give you primary
custody while I have secondary custody of Amanda only. The order would not
change the arrangement with Justin. You would gain primary
custody of Amanda with no support in that I am supporting Justin.
If agreed upon, the change in court document will obviously take some time so I
will be at the mercy of the Court system in order to make this change. This
will give you Amanda, which you wanted, and will appease Amanda. I cannot
guarantee if the courts will allow this to happen but I am willing to try. If
we start heading down the same road of ugliness that we have experienced in the
past, then I will look for alternative means. I am prepared to relinquish
primary custody of her.
Your thoughts?
Kevin
Kevin P. Landers Sr.
Commander
4th Engineer Battalion
Fort Carson, Colorado
So, of course, I complied. Let me explain. In my divorce
proceedings, I ONLY wanted my children. I never asked for alimony or money
period. I told my lawyer that I just wanted to get the divorce over with as
soon as possible. I was terrified and I
just wanted my kids to be with me. Kevin could have his time with them as the
court deemed fit. It did not work out that way. In the end…I lost my home, my possessions,
my children and everything I held close to my heart.
proceedings, I ONLY wanted my children. I never asked for alimony or money
period. I told my lawyer that I just wanted to get the divorce over with as
soon as possible. I was terrified and I
just wanted my kids to be with me. Kevin could have his time with them as the
court deemed fit. It did not work out that way. In the end…I lost my home, my possessions,
my children and everything I held close to my heart.
Once Amanda came back to me in August 2009, I was still in a
battle. The stress and abuse inflicted on my body was taking a toll and it came
to a head. On a sunny day, November 16, 2009 John and I were catching a bus to
town. I sat in the seat of the bus and my left leg started jumping uncontrollably.
I looked at John and said-“Get me off this bus.” He carried me out and I seemed
to be ok, but as John was flagging down a taxi, I went into a seizure. I do not
remember anything except that I woke up with tubes coming out of every part of
me. I was in the hospital and John was at my side. The doctors came in and said
that they needed to do a CAT-SCAN because my seizure was a grand-mal.
battle. The stress and abuse inflicted on my body was taking a toll and it came
to a head. On a sunny day, November 16, 2009 John and I were catching a bus to
town. I sat in the seat of the bus and my left leg started jumping uncontrollably.
I looked at John and said-“Get me off this bus.” He carried me out and I seemed
to be ok, but as John was flagging down a taxi, I went into a seizure. I do not
remember anything except that I woke up with tubes coming out of every part of
me. I was in the hospital and John was at my side. The doctors came in and said
that they needed to do a CAT-SCAN because my seizure was a grand-mal.
After the results of the CAT-SCAN, my doctors came into my
room and had concerned looks on their faces. I just looked at them and then
they asked John to leave the room. I was confused. My neurologists and family
practitioner looked at me and asked me to answer them with honesty. What they
had determined from the CAT-SCAN was that I have scar tissue from about 10-12
years ago (1998-2002) because of repeated head trauma over time and my brain is
trying to get rid of it….ie….that is why I experience Grand Mal seizures. They
did not know how long John and I were together, so they assumed that it was
John and that is why they asked him to leave the room. They were very upset and
wanted to know who had done this to me. So, for the first time I told strangers
my story of abuse by Kevin. It was a very hard moment for me as I do not want
to share ANY emotion in public…especially with almost strangers, but I trusted
my doctors. They wanted to protect me and as of today, I have been seizure free
for 2 years now. There is no cure for epilepsy but I can control my epilepsy
with daily medication. My diet is very strict. My doctors have put me on a Ketogenic diet and I am ok with this. I have
to be careful with stimulants like caffeine and alcohol and stress as these are
definite triggers. So, a few years ago, I started working out with yoga and
other peaceful routines. Don’t get me wrong-I LOVE the weight lifting and
cardio stuff, but my mind and body need more of a relaxing state.
room and had concerned looks on their faces. I just looked at them and then
they asked John to leave the room. I was confused. My neurologists and family
practitioner looked at me and asked me to answer them with honesty. What they
had determined from the CAT-SCAN was that I have scar tissue from about 10-12
years ago (1998-2002) because of repeated head trauma over time and my brain is
trying to get rid of it….ie….that is why I experience Grand Mal seizures. They
did not know how long John and I were together, so they assumed that it was
John and that is why they asked him to leave the room. They were very upset and
wanted to know who had done this to me. So, for the first time I told strangers
my story of abuse by Kevin. It was a very hard moment for me as I do not want
to share ANY emotion in public…especially with almost strangers, but I trusted
my doctors. They wanted to protect me and as of today, I have been seizure free
for 2 years now. There is no cure for epilepsy but I can control my epilepsy
with daily medication. My diet is very strict. My doctors have put me on a Ketogenic diet and I am ok with this. I have
to be careful with stimulants like caffeine and alcohol and stress as these are
definite triggers. So, a few years ago, I started working out with yoga and
other peaceful routines. Don’t get me wrong-I LOVE the weight lifting and
cardio stuff, but my mind and body need more of a relaxing state.
So, my
journey will always continue. My doctors know my life and I trust them. They
have saved my life and I forever will be grateful to them.
journey will always continue. My doctors know my life and I trust them. They
have saved my life and I forever will be grateful to them.
“Sometimes I wake in the middle of the night and I fear that
my brain will collapse, but my fear is only temporary. I have people that love
me…need me…want me…I have a responsibility to be a mother, a wife, a friend and
a mentor. God does not give us more than we can handle and I feel like it is my
responsibility to help others.” Catherine Landers
my brain will collapse, but my fear is only temporary. I have people that love
me…need me…want me…I have a responsibility to be a mother, a wife, a friend and
a mentor. God does not give us more than we can handle and I feel like it is my
responsibility to help others.” Catherine Landers
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