Col Kevin P Landers Sr. absence as a father continues

In 2011, I started writing this blog. It had been six (6) years since I had filed for divorce from US Army Col. Kevin P. Landers Sr. Numerous years of staying silent came to an end.  Per an extraordinary mentor and the advice of others that knew my “life”  I embraced their direction that I write my story for the public to read.  I had concluded that it was in my best interest and my 4 children’s best interest to share my story. This Blog became my “answer” to  those whom were part of my circle when I was married to Kevin. My ex was spewing lies about me and people were wanting an account from me concerning the false accusations Kevin was directing at me. Horrific lies told to my family, my friends and most importantly our children. I stayed quiet from 2005 until 2011 because I needed time to heal and gain confidence again. When I started to get bombarded with emails and phone calls from strangers and family members, I headed the advice given to me so that I could use my voice and stand up for myself against an abuser(s) and direct people to this Blog.

I chose NOT to write anonymously and to also name my abuser and his current wife Melody Morrison Wilson Landers. I made these decisions after much thought and consideration knowing that Kevin and Melody would more than likely take me to court...which they did in 2012. Because I reside in Mexico, Kevin and Melody thought that I would not be represented over 1,000 miles away in Colorado Springs, CO. Upon being served 48 hrs notice of the court date, I was able to have legal counsel AND use my voice via telephonic conference. While reading the allegations against me that both Kevin and Melody filed UNDER OATH, I was once again appalled at the lies they had written. One in particular is that Kevin claimed that he filed for divorce and won sole custody of our 4 children. After 18 years of his physical, sexual and verbal abuses, I am the one who filed for divorce in April 2005 and we had joint custody at that time. Both he and Melody also swore to the El Paso county court that I had threatened to kill them, burn down their home and kill their late son Kyle Ray Wilson. It amazes me how Kevin and Melody swore under oath yet claim to be God fearing Christians. It is unethical, it is sociopath, it is in violation of the US Army Code and it is against the law.

You can read in more detail what transpired during the court hearing in El Paso County Colorado by clicking on the link:

http://catherinelanders2010-recreatingmyself.blogspot.mx/2012/03/abusers-censorship-request-denied-by.html

Kevin requested that the judge order me to take down my blog and Judge Curtis denied his request. As per his abusive character, he was not happy about her judgement but he and Melody started telling people that they have a permanent restraining order and that I am a felon running from the law and hiding in Mexico. Their lies escalated to such an insane, extreme level and they started posting publicly  that they went to the Supreme Court and I was ordered to remove all my social media sites. I have a screenshot of a transcribed FALSE court hearing that never took place. An acquaintance that reads Melody’s private blogs sent me the fake court proceeding order. Here is a link to Melody’s 2 different blogs that consist of very slanderous allegations against me and John and our children.
http://thelanderssaga.blogspot.com/
http://kevinmelody.blogspot.com/ 

Col. Kevin P. Landers Sr. and Melody Morrison Wilson Landers have stated and posted publicly that I have warrants out for my arrest in both Mexico and the United States. And go on to claim that if and/or when I cross the border, I will be arrested on the spot. As most all of you know from my prior blog entry, I ATTENDED-in-person my son’s wedding in November 2015 and then traveled throughout the United States before arriving to my home in Mexico. I also renewed my Passport while in the USA - without any problem.  I am reiterating this because it is important to see the pattern of how Kevin and Melody live and breathe lies and have been doing so for 11 years now and do not show any sign that they will repent nor stop all this slander and defamation of me, John, our children and our families.

On the eve of our son’s wedding, US Army Col. Kevin Paul Landers, Sr. made false allegations to a local police officer concerning a false document Kevin had produced. The officer contacted me and advised that I was “prohibited” from attending our son’s wedding. I had to involve other judicial persons in New Jersey and Kevin was asked to leave immediately...he left. One would think that the Colonel would learn his lesson and stop all his lies and hatred towards me and our 4 children, but he has not.

Our 4 children want to have a relationship with their Mom and Dad. However, Kevin continues to make it very clear that if our children have a relationship with me, he will ban them from his life; He did so again recently with our 24 year old daughter.

How can any logical thinking human being admire or even respect a man, a soldier, an Army officer that demands his children have nothing to do with their mother and IF our son’s/daughter’s acknowledge their mom, they will be disowned by their father!

I know and mentor to many parents (dad’s included) that battle the courts and with their ex’s everyday in an effort to fight to be included in their child’s life. My John has battled with his ex Kelly for years in efforts to hold his children again. He even offered her sizable settlements and she refused it because she does not want John to be the wonderful father he is to his own children. Children that are now also becoming young adults that will eventually seek John out for answers as my children have done with me. What is going to be devastating to the Baker children is that they were lied to by their mother Kelly about why John is not in their life as of today. John prays about seeing his children everyday because he is a loving father.

Kevin has an unequivocal choice to have a relationship with our children and HE chooses not to be in their life. The children can confirm, that I have NEVER requested that they alienate their dad...I think it would be best for them to have a relationship with their father. Over the years these children have longed to have a relationship with their dad yet he continues to play the victim and disregards them because they want a relationship with both of us.

Kevin hates me more than he loves our children and that is so heart wrenching not only to me...but to 4 innocent children that don’t deserve all the anger he continues to dish out.

In the past, I tried to communicate with Kevin in reference to our children and he refuses to discuss their well being with me. We brought these 4 beautiful souls into this world and whether we dislike each other or not, we have a responsibility to support, love and embrace our children regardless of the past or our divorce. Kevin has a lot of excuses as to why he chose to shun our children but there is not one reasonable excuse to shut out any of the children involved.

Melody ONLY claims love for her late son Kyle Ray. She refuses to acknowledge her daughter.

Our children are not playing cards that we disregard when we don’t like what has been dealt to us. They are human beings that one day become adults and parents as well and because of this, it is our job as loving parents to try to show by example of how responsible, loving adults act and thus far Kevin and Melody display not only hateful actions but also damaging results. We adults brought children into this world and it will forever be our responsibility to ensure that our children are safe, happy, thriving and feel loved by us. Five children don't feel loved by Kevin nor Melody and that is one child too many. To all the readers that interact with Melody and Kevin on a daily basis or have been to their home, is it not odd that there is not one picture or verbal acknowledgment that Kevin has two daughters and two sons. There are only shrines of Kyle Ray...a sweet soul that couldn't speak but he had cognitive thinking. I am sure if he could have spoken, he would have a lot to say about the way his mother Melody and step-father Kevin treat his sister and step-siblings.

So, with permission from my oldest daughter, I must once again expose how truly hateful

Col. Kevin Paul Landers Sr. is towards his children. Below is a text message that our daughter sent to her dad. She is applying for student loans and is required to provide a parent’s home address. That is all she asked. She didn't ask for money...just permission to use an address.

Now let me stress something here, when our daughter was sent away several times by her father in 2008/09 he didn’t pay any child support nor did he even take time to visit her while she was thrown away in a federally funded program for low income households (he was a Lt. Col. in ‘08 ‘09). He just hid her away from me and her siblings for years and did nothing to support nor help her. When I found her, John and I took care of her until she got on her feet. Kevin repeated this same behavior with our 3 other children and hardly paid a dime to help them and it's not because he doesn’t have the money. An Army Colonel averages about over $7,000.00  a month with sizable annual raises:

https://www.military-ranks.org/army/colonel-pay  

The little amount of money he did give was ONLY when the children agreed to not have a relationship with me otherwise he shunned our kids out of his life. Kevin and Melody are so engulfed in their own greed and hatred for me that they punish these children in their process to hide all of their lies. I truly pray everyday that all their hatred would stop but I don't see that coming anytime soon and this is why I will continue to write in my blog. I had a 62 year old survivor tell me some very unfortunate, but honest advice. She said, “The day my abuser stopped his hatred was the day they buried him.”

I fear that with Kevin’s track record he will die a mean and dishonorable son; husband; and father.

“A man's success is measured by what his wife and children say about him. Money and accomplishments mean nothing if you let your home fail.”

I will end this entry with one last thought and advice to my ex and his wife.

If they do not stop their continual mean and abusive behavior towards myself and our shared 5 children I am going to continue to use my voice to expose how truly mean they are. Our children should not feel the need to defend themselves against their parents. We as parents should be defending the children that did not ask for a life riddled with insanity and a divorce. I asked for the divorce because I fell out of love with their father. How dare Kevin fall out of love with his children...he is a very sad man that not only hates me...Kevin hates himself.

He is mean; He is wrong; and He is abusive.

US Army Colonel Kevin P. Landers may wear rank as an outstanding soldier and attend his local church, but what does he want his legacy to be with 4 children that will also remember who he was to them? If he says he doesn't really care what our children think and could care less if they love him or not. Then he doesn’t deserve to be a father to MY children because my children are awesome souls that are doing great things and deserve all the wonderful things life offers in spite of the years of hell they have been through.

Rest...Regroup...Return

Kevin and Melody’s behavior defined ~

DSM-IV Definition. Antisocial personality disorder is characterized by a lack of regard for the moral or legal standards in the local culture. There is a marked inability to get along with others or abide by societal rules. Individuals with this disorder are sometimes called psychopaths or sociopaths.

I have also included screen shots per Melody’s Pinterest and Facebook accounts

Melody is an evil human being.

.

This is a post per Melody Landers Facebook stating that she raised my 4 children. That is a bold faced lie. My oldest son left within 3 weeks of living with his father and Melody, my two daughters were thrown away from different homes because their father didn't want them and eventually they came and lived with John and I. My youngest son was the ONLY child that was raised by Melody and his father and sadly he is the most emotionally damaged as of today. That says a lot about what kind of life he had in his father's home for 10 years.

This is a post on Melody's Pinterest.
Melody's current Pinterest account
A post that Melody will delete as soon as she reads this blog. Melody professes that her and Kevin Sr. don't have any daughters and that her nieces are "the daughters they don't have" but yet on her Facebook page dedicated to her late son Kyle she posts many pictures of "the daughters they never had" which are my and Kevin's daughters.
Kyle Rays Legacy of Love Facebook page
Do you know how horrible that makes Melody's daughter and my daughters feel? Not sure if Melody's nieces nor sister would approve of these posts or behavior.
It shows what kind of person/mother figure Melody truly is-evil at her beautiful nieces expense.

New Jersey Law Enforcement Reprimands Colonel Kevin Paul Landers Sr.

Many have asked me over these past two months how my trip was back to the States. I have received inquiries from acquaintances and their concerns about what they were told about me per my ex husband Col. Kevin P. Landers and his wife Melody Wilson Landers. I have also been informed that the lies continue about me, our children and my family.  I intend on disputing this defamation of character in this blog entry. Before blogging my travel experiences, let me refresh all of you on the harassment the children and I continue to face - for years - by my DV abuser Kevin P. Landers and his wife Melody Wilson Landers.

I extended my trip to spend time with my family, John’s family and to take care of legal documents. One major document to renew was my USA passport. One should note that my son’s engagement to his fiancé lasted for awhile and in the midst of this long engagement, Horrendous, Hateful lies were being spread – ONCE AGAIN - about me. Kevin & Melody chose to spread their HATE on social media sites.  Melody used her Pinterest, Facebook, Google Plus (http://kevinmelody.blogspot.com/) and Twitter. She also set up fake email accounts and social media sites in my name and impersonated me to try to convince others and the courts that I was harassing her...something Melody has been doing for years. This was NOT a solo effort. Col. Kevin Paul Landers approves of this behavior per his reports to police, courts, etc. he has signed court filings to support the FALSE accusations. Melody has also impersonated ALL 4 of my children and her daughter Kayla. I feel certain that there are others out there that have been impersonated.

Why post this blog entry now?

I chose to wait until well after my trip to the USA because I did not want to take away from the joyous moments we all had as a family these past few months. I wanted to hold onto the glow of happiness and love I felt from so many wonderful people. I will forever hold onto every moment I shared with my children, my family and my friends that I have missed for so long.

But, now is the time to write about what transpired over these past 11 years and the unfortunate negative events that took place because Col. Kevin P. Landers and his wife Melody did EVERYTHING they could (with lies of course) to try to stop me from traveling back to the states to spend time with my loved ones. Here are some examples of the calculated, manipulative lies that both Col. Kevin P. Landers and Melody Wilson Landers have told over the years to try to hide their lies & instigate others to hate me.

In October 2006, Melody contacted me here in Mexico. I have many voice messages to prove her contact along with emails of her correspondence with me and John. She was very friendly and because she was around my children, I talked to her. I wanted to know about my kids. On the other hand, John kept warning me, “Be careful Catherine. She is mentally unstable and I do not trust her.” I heeded John’s advice but I so desperately wanted to know about my kids. She would call crying sometimes because Kevin Sr. was being mean to her. She left several messages on our answering machine claiming that Kevin Sr. was harassing and stalking her and “Bobby” her and “Tommy “her and   ?   

Melody claimed that she had an African American boyfriend named Bobby and that Kevin Sr. called him the “N” word several times. She portrayed to me that she was also a victim of Kevin’s abuses and claimed she took Kevin Sr. to court to file a restraining order against him. She claims to have taken “joy” in watching Kevin Sr. be embarrassed at work and in Cumberland County Courts when the judge issued a restraining order. I found this very odd that she was laughing about a restraining order. Her allegations concerning Col. Landers were made in November, 2006. By February 2007, Melody and Kevin Sr. were married. This was 2 months after Melody joked about a restraining order against Col. Kevin Paul Landers.

See Blog entry Transcribed Voicemails per Melody

Over the course of several years, John and I have had to deal with Kevin and Melody’s hatefulness and lies. They used the children as pawns to try to hurt me. Our daughter Amanda was sent to me in July 2008 and I had to beg Kevin to send me the proper paperwork for Amanda to stay with me and he would not. I even got in touch with his Commanding General at Fort Carson-General Mark Graham- who was very kind to me and Amanda. But, Col. Landers still refused to send me Amanda’s paperwork. After 117 days of Amanda living with me (she was on a 120 day temporary visa) Col. Kevin Landers -her father- pulled her back to his home. Once he got her there, he threw her into a facility and I lost contact with Amanda for about 7 months...nobody from Kevin’s family has chose to contact Amanda since January 2009. She eventually came back to me in late 2009 because the facility had maxed out her father’s insurance and he would have to pay “out-of-pocket”.  Kevin could not send Amanda to his go to FREE JobCorp because Amanda was not 16. He agreed to release Amanda to me here in San Miguel de Allende under the condition of NO financial support. Since our divorce, he has never financially nor emotionally supported his minor children Kevin Jr., Amanda & M. I lost contact with my oldest daughter “M” but eventually found her in Anaconda Montana Job Corps. She had been thrown into that facility by her father and had not had contact with any of her family for about a year. Kevin Sr. refused to take care of his daughter Megan but once he found out that I had sought her out and was engaging with M, he and Melody started claiming that I had no right to talk to her because of a no-contact order issued. Please keep in mind that I was never served any papers concerning a “No Contact” order. After much research and contact with the Montana Senator Tester’s office…I received much help from Erik Nylund who works with Senator Tester. After establishing the fact that I COULD have contact with my daughter because there was no existing “No Contact” order, (Kevin and Melody lied to Job Corps) I took care of all of my daughters emotional, monetary, and physical needs until she moved in with John and I on January 11^th 2011.

My youngest son Justin had the most pain to deal with. He was forbidden to have ANY contact with his siblings or me for 11 years. Col. Kevin P. Landers and wife Melody claimed that they were trying to keep my son safe from all of the lies his siblings and I were spreading about them. It was stated publically by Melody several times that Justin was in therapy because I was harassing Justin and his step-brother Kyle Ray Wilson. Yet, I had not had ANY contact with Justin. It was publicly written by Melody that I made videos threatening to burn Kevin Sr. and Melody’s home down in Colorado Springs and that I was going to “push Kyle into a ditch” because he was a “retard.” However, in the court proceedings that Kevin Sr. and Melody filed for harassment, domestic violence and cyber bullying against me, no video’s were ever produced. Kevin Sr. and Melody also lied under oath stating that I threatened to harm both of them, Kyle and Justin therefore they ALL feared for their life. I did not nor have I ever threatened any human being, especially a child.

In a court document dated Feb. 07, 2012 filed by Col. Kevin Landers, he stated that he feared for his life and his family’s life and that I was trying to ruin his career. He also stated under oath that he was the one who filed for divorce and received full custody of our children because I was unfit. All lies to the El Paso county authorities…i.e. I was the one who filed for divorce on April 4^th 2005 and the legal proceeding to begin the divorce process was started by the court on April 11^th 2005.  After a “no contact complaint” was filed and a court date set in Colorado, Kevin and Melody –in the presence of me and the Judge- stated their concerns about this blog –vs- their fear of me….they feared this blog, and the Judge reprimanded them.  They did not fear for their safety. Their intent was to get before a judge on the pretense that they needed legal protection for themselves from me (keep in mind I live over 1200 miles away from them). Once before the judge, they thought they could throw the blog in and have me censored…it did not go well with the judge (for them anyway). In the court hearing after I conceded to the No Contact request (I had not had contact with them since 2009; I sure wasn’t wanting any contact now) Kevin Sr. says to Judge Curtis,  “What about her blog?”

Judge Curtis basically states that the blog is not the issue, nor is it a threat. A no contact order was issued stating that I conceded to the order but that I admit NO guilt, nor admittance that I am a threat to Kevin Sr., Melody nor Kyle. The complaint had requested No Contact with Justin, but the court struck out that request. A court order (one of many) that Melody has posted, manipulated, lied about and plagiarized many times over the years.

Melody has also posed as Justin on his Facebook and sent me horrible messages all of which I knew were not Justin. Justin lived in a cloud of lies by his father and step-mother and he knew they were lying but he was just a kid that has no recourse to escape them. He was their prisoner for 11 years.  Justin was a token Kevin Sr. needed to use as propaganda to say, “See, I am a good father.”

However, as soon as Justin turned 18, he ran away and never looked back.  All 4 of our children see their father’s lies and manipulative behavior. He is mean and they see it. 

Over the past 11 years it has been verbally and publicly written that I am a felon running from the law...that the FBI, CIA, ICE, Federal Marshalls, Interpol and Border Patrol will arrest me at the border.  I am sure that Kevin and Melody’s verbal slander with family, friends and community is even more abundant than I am aware of.  More slander against me, John, our children and our families. These are some of the many horrible, outrageous lies that Col. Landers and Melody have spread to try to harm me, my family and my relationship with my children.

Here is the synopsis:

Not only did I cross the border in November, 2015 from Mexico into the United States, I also renewed my passport, updated my Social Security Card, and renewed my Driver’s License. These are ALL government facilities so if I was a felon with over 400 counts against me and a 4 time felon(according to Melody) how could I renew any of these documents? I would have been detained at the border and handcuffed immediately. Something Col. Kevin P. Landers and Melody stated would happen if I crossed. But without any problem, I re-entered the Mexican border in December, 2015 with no problem what so ever. I am a free citizen in all countries with no felonies against me. Why would Melody and Kevin Sr. work so hard to claim that I am not allowed to enter into the USA to attend my son’s wedding?

Simple…they tried to scare me into not crossing the border. Fear is a scare tactic abusers use all the time on their victims. They convince their victims that they have power over them. Kevin and Melody tried to make me fear spending time with my kids. They also instilled fear in our children… “If you talk to your Mom or John you will be breaking the law and abetting a felon.”  Neither John nor myself are felons. Search/Google it.

Kevin Sr. promised me that he would make sure I had no contact with my family, my children or my friends and he accomplished that for years with a smile on his face. My going back to the United States in November 2015 was the best way I could disprove the fallacies and the slander while at the same time expose the extreme hatred and evil inside of this couple. I did make it to New Jersey and met my children in Newark, NJ.  It was the first time I had seen my oldest (groom) and youngest son in 11 years. I cannot describe the emotion we all felt. I had to reach up to hug my two sons who were now young men…they were 8 and 14 years when I last held them. Their sisters were also deeply emotional because they too had not seen their brothers in years.  This reunification was the first time since 2006 that all 4 children were together. My 3 children and I got a hotel room together which was awesome…my 4^th child had groom things to attend. We also spent much time with my daughter-in-laws family. What a strong, sweet, loving family they are. Everything was a marathon of sorts as weddings always are. But, I wouldn't trade ANY moment. I treasured every second that I was there.

I was not sure if Kevin Sr. and Melody were going to be attending. I was prepared to be cordial for the sake of the children. Regardless of my past with Kevin Sr. and Melody, this was about my oldest son's wedding and I was ready to make the best of it. Regardless of our marriage, col Landers and I share 4 children and we will will always be connected because of our kids. It is our responsibility as responsible, loving parents to act in a manner that displays Col Landers and I as such. We all prayed that Col Landers and his second wife would act appropriately.  I also discussed this with my children and reassured them that nothing bad was going to happen and it was going to be okay. I had to do this because they were VERY nervous that either their Dad and/or Melody would try to do something to disrupt the wedding/reunion.  The kids were concerned that I was going to be arrested because they had been told for so long that I was a felon. What cruel lies Kevin Sr. and Melody would tell to put fear in the kids. I felt confident that after 11 years of being divorced and with Kevin Sr. needing to conduct himself as a Colonel in the USArmy.  For some reason I felt that he would not act in a manner that was unbecoming of an officer or upset our children and the family. However, the day I arrived I was told that Kevin Sr. and Melody were not attending the wedding.  Apparently, Kevin Sr. and Melody were not pleased that I was going to be in attendance so Melody, once again, started re-posting documents and hate concerning me. These posts were being placed on links that were meant for the communication of all those attending the upcoming wedding. When the Bride’s family told Melody how inappropriate it was to use the wedding link as a venue to discuss the grooms mothers “shortcomings”  Melody refused to remove the postings, so she was removed from the link along with her postings. This reprimand was not received well by Col. Landers and in the end he ended up verbally insulting the bride-to-be and demanded that I- the Grooms mother; his ex – be uninvited. My son told his dad that we all need to get along. My ex hung up on my son & texted that he would not be attending the wedding and not to expect anything from him in the future. Basically my ex and Melody did not get their way, so they declined attending and disowned their kids.  Apparently Melody proceeded to post to the bride’s family the reasons why they couldn't attend if I were going. Of course it was all lies. It was very upsetting to my son and his wife's family.  I truly felt so sad for my son and his wife's family. Why all this hatred in lieu of a day that they wanted all of their family members in attendance to celebrate with them? My goodness, for one day could Col. Landers at the very least control his hatred for the sake of his son and his 3 other children? Will he ever let go of his hatred and stop lying? Will he ever stop being abusive? The night of the rehearsal dinner answered not only the question of controlling his hate, but it also showed how mean Col. Kevin P. Landers truly is. Allow me to elaborate...

Accepting the fact that Kevin Sr. and Melody were not coming to the wedding, the children and I continued to enjoy the time spent with each other and the wedding festivities. The rehearsal dinner was November 12^th 2015. The entire wedding party which was inclusive of me, my youngest son who was the best man, and my two daughters that were bridesmaids. We went to Perona Farms Wedding Barn   for the rehearsal in Andover, NJ.  After the rehearsal, we went to eat a lovely dinner with the entire wedding party.  After the dinner, we all went our separate ways. My oldest son and my daughter- in-law went home and my 3 younger kids and I went to our hotel room. Within 20 minutes of us settling in our room, my older daughter received a text from her brother-the groom. Her brother was very upset and told her that she needed to tell me what was going on. My daughter proceeded to tell me that her brother received a phone call from the Stanhope Police Department. The officer on duty told my son that his father gave them a restraining order against me and that if I attended the wedding I would be arrested on the spot and taken to jail. It was also told to my son and daughter-in-law that if I were to attend the wedding and Kevin Sr. showed up that they should hide me away in a closet so I wouldn't be arrested....WHAT?  I told my son that if it were best that I did not attend then it would be ok but he insisted that I be there and he was not going to hide me in a closet if his father and Melody showed up.

My children were very upset by their father's antics and once again I had to be my ex-husband's buffer (something I was for 18 years) to soothe my children's fears and try to figure out what I could do to stop Kevin Sr.'s temper tantrum. So, I started making phone calls at 10pm that night....the night before my son's wedding. I talked to several people, a federal attorney and also with law enforcement.

Meanwhile while I was making some phone calls into the middle of the night to try to figure out what was going on,  my son and daughter- in-law were trying to reason with Kevin Sr. However, the Colonel refused to talk to his son but he did talk to my daughter-in-law. I find it interesting that now that my son is a man, his father refused to talk to him but did choose to talk to my daughter-in-law…and he was quite abrasive with her. It is common knowledge that abusers typically ONLY try to intimidate women and children and by the mere fact that Kevin Sr. refused to talk to his son proved this. Unfortunately my daughter-in-law got caught in the cross fire of Kevin Sr.’s rage and was trying to reason with him but his anger just escalated more and more to the point that he said, "I will do everything in my power to get ‘my ex wife’ arrested!" My daughter-in-law was shocked by the way he was screaming, panting, and saying things that were irrational. She told me that he was usually nice but I told her that she experienced the man that I was married to for 18 years. He frightened her. He lost control and when Kevin Sr. loses control, he goes into a rage and someone is going to suffer. This was obviously very upsetting to these poor kids on the eve of their celebration and once again I felt like I had to pick up the pieces of Col. Kevin P. Landers anger even though we have been divorced now for over 11 years.

So, I met with authorities the next morning and they checked to see if I did indeed have any charges or restraining orders against me. I have to admit that I was nervous, but I was ready to address anything that needed to be taken care of. I was told that I had “not one thing” against me. I was told by the authorities to go tell my children and my family to enjoy the wedding and if I needed any more assistance to give them a call. I told the detective that Kevin was a Colonel in the USArmy and the detective blatantly said-"Rank means nothing." Basically, Kevin Sr. has been able to intimidate soldiers with his rank over the years, but the NJ authorities were not putting up with Kevin's "power game." I was assured that “Col Kevin Landers won’t be causing any problems in our district.” This meeting took place the morning of the wedding and everyone was relieved to hear my news. So, we all decided that we would not allow Kevin's behavior to ruin a very wonderful, celebratory day. The plan was that if Kevin Sr. chose to show up that he would not be allowed to enter the building and to all of our relief, he never showed up nor caused any problems in the district. Please let me stress here that Col. Kevin P. Landers lives in North Carolina and was uninvited to the wedding several weeks prior because of he and Melody's behavior. He text to my son and bride that they were not going to attend. He has the local young police officer contact my son to inform him that “his father” would be attending and that his mother would be arrested. And YES, it was verified that his messenger is active with the Stanhope Police Department. Just another victim of Kevin Landers using the USArmy rank to cry a river. I find it ironic that 30 minutes after the rehearsal dinner; he is making idle threats and was in a rage over the phone with my daughter-in-law. Was he sitting in the parking lot at the restaurant where the rehearsal dinner was held just watching? How did he know when all of us left? Pretty eerie and a little frightening to think that he may have been stalking us.

So, did he think he could bully to get his way as he has in the past? Maybe...but I will tell you this...my daughter-in-laws family is one of the closets families I have ever met. They love each other...protect each other and will not allow bullies to enter their family circle. I admire that immensely and I am so thankful that my son has been a part of this awesome family for many years.

As I write this I still feel a mixture of sadness, disappointment, and anger that the father of my children still continues to act in an irrational manner when he does not get his way. In the past, he went to any lengths to try to destroy me because I left him and he got away with stalking/harassing me through others. He got away with it because I did not want to stand up and dispute, because I knew he had my youngest in his physical custody and he would use my efforts against our son Justin. He was able to bully our children for years because they had no choice but to obey his commands. When will he understand that he cannot bully his way through life and when is he going to understand that we have overcome his anger outburst. Neither I nor the children are afraid of him anymore. He cannot say things to embarrass us any longer. HE is the embarrassment. With his consistent behavior over the years, we pretty much expect his behavior.  He however is becoming an embarrassment to himself and a disappointment to the people that believed him and his second wife Melody's lies all these years. I think about the people reading this that did believe the lies they were told by Kevin and Melody. Especially the ones that publicly had some pretty hateful things to say about me without truly knowing both sides of the story. I do understand that sometimes we have feelings of passion for others because of the image they may present to society and the stories they have to share. But, I do hope that all of us will use caution when making judgments, especially public ones, when we are not confident that what we are being told by others is the truth. So here are some facts...not opinions:

I filed for divorce from Col. Kevin P. Landers because he was extremely physically abusive…he beat the living shit out of me…consistently. I am Epileptic because of the severe head beating he inflicted on me.

Upon breaking free of their father, none of my children choose to be in contact with him. Melody's daughter chose to not have contact with her mother Melody several years ago as well. So we are talking about 5 children that chose to leave as I did. With the above behavior by Kevin Sr. I think it is very clear WHY he lost his entire family.  His recent behavior has set him back so far away from having a relationship with his kids. He could have gone to the wedding and acted as a respectable, honorable man and father but in his typical form, because he got mad, he became unorthodox, enraged, irrational, and abusive. A behavior the children and I lived with for years and a behavior we all chose to leave one by one.

Many horrible lies have been told about me. Keep in mind that Melody has a pattern of posting things and then deleting them. She has also opened up media sites in my name, Johns name, our children’s names, took screenshots & manipulated them and then used those as hate propaganda against all of us. Don’t believe me? Take a look at ALL the big lies Col. Landers and Melody have told and gotten away with them up to this point. Why would she go to any lengths to try to discredit me, John or our children? Col. Kevin P. Landers and Melody Wilson Landers have gotten away with their little lie games for years because I was not there to defend myself or the kids. I am tired of their games. We all are.

Here are just a few of the lies told that can now be disputed just by one action. I traveled back to the United States. Upon crossing the border, all of Col. Kevin P. Landers and Melody Wilson Landers 11 years of lies were discredited…

Claims by KPL & MWL:

·        -I am breaking laws both in the United States and Mexico

·        -I am a fugitive running and hiding (It is no secret that I have lived in San Miguel de Allende, MEXICO for years)

·       - I abused my children and that is why Kevin Sr. gained full custody

·        -My children hated me and wanted nothing to do with me-especially Justin

·        -My youngest son Justin has talked to D.A.'s about my harassment of him and his family and that Justin had to seek counseling because I was stalking him

·        -I threatened Kevin and Melody with bullets that had their initials and I was going to track them down and that I would also “rope my daughters” into helping me

·       - Melody claimed that the DA she was talking to said that I would be arrested for ‘Premeditated Homicide’ if I crossed the border

·        -The Border Patrol would arrest me as soon as I tried to cross and that I would either sit in a Mexican prison or USA law enforcement would detain me

·       - I have been court ordered to remove ALL my social media sites

·       - Per Melody’s postings, I choose not to abide by the laws in the United States because I live in Mexico. Truth of the matter is that I am a law abiding, legal USA citizen and have the same rights as everyone else to include freedom to have social media sites

·        -Melody once again uses the courts and big legal words to try to intimidate and distract others from the truth

·        -That I wanted to kill Kyle, called him fat, called him Fiona and made fun of him. Let me stress, I have never made fun of any living human being-especially a child. My late Aunt had Polio. My father’s late sister (my Aunt) had mental disabilities and lived with us for years so my parents could take care of her. I have a cousin that has Down syndrome/trisomy 21;  One of my dear friends has Multiple Sclerosis and we enjoy our get-togethers often. I have helped take care of HIV+ babies. I have volunteered in classrooms with children with special needs. Even Kevin Sr. knows that I would NEVER call a child such horrible things. I met Kyle once, and he said, “Hi.” My children have told me wonderful stories about Kyle and I understand why they loved him so much

Excuses will be made, and more lies will be told about this blog entry by Col. Kevin P. Landers and Melody. They must do "damage control" as they have done for years to hide their lies. I just truly hope that at this point, others will start to realize that what comes out of Kevin and Melody’s mouth should be questionable especially after all the years of lies told about me, my children and others. Those “others” could very well be you.

I do hope that one day Col. Kevin P. Landers realizes that his anger will continue to give him nothing but grief, disappointment and loneliness. I truly thought that losing me and now his children would soften him and maybe help him understand that it is not us or others that are “ruining his reputation”, HE is destroying the world he lives in. As far as Melody, she has caused much pain to her “bonus kids” and her daughter by the hateful way she chooses to live her life. John has only referred to one person as “Evil” since I met him in 1986. That person is Melody. I have not spoken face-to-face with Melody (nor do I desire) but after all these years and the stories shared by the kids in her care, friends that became her foe and people that directly know her, Melody appears to be depressed, sad, lonely, angry, bitter, insecure…a person that needs some type of guidance to help heal whatever internal demons she is facing. She has told so many lies that I do not know what truths if any she has ever shared with me and John.  John’s impression is that she may have spoken the truth to him about her father…who knows?

I must say this, I am very relieved that my children are no longer in her care. The damage has been done, but now that the kids are away from Kevin and Melody’s insanities, they are healing and I am very proud of each of them.

I also want to add that if not for me, his siblings and his Ryan cousins that my son would have not had ANY family members at his wedding and it was not because no one was invited. Kevin Sr.’s sister Kelly and his brother Brian were invited along with their spouses and children. It saddens me that my children have been pushed aside and forgotten especially by the Landers side of the family. Kevin Sr.’s mother who is referred to as Magaw by her grandchildren, did not attend the first wedding of one of her grandchildren. Magaw (Rebecca “Becky” Landers) chose to disown KJ, Megan, Amanda and Justin. For reasons that will never be logical. I am truly shocked that a loving grandmother picks and chooses which grandchildren she is going to embrace and be kind to. Her late husband Poppy James  “Jim” Landers chose the same path.  Just because their son and I could not continue in a marriage does not condone anger towards their own grandchildren. This goes for the rest of the Landers family. But, it is the typical Landers hateful, manipulative, controlling behavior that was taught. My family and I have had our challenges over the years, but I know for a fact that if both my parents were alive today, regardless of the family issues, they would have attended their grandson’s wedding with smiles on their faces.

On a side note, I do hope that John’s ex-wife Kelly Baker Barnes understands that no amount of damage control will ever fix the lies she has told her children about their dad. John’s 4 little ones are now 17 and their legal freedom is just around the corner. They will eventually be leaving for college, getting into relationships, creating their own lives and independence away from their mother Kelly and when they do, they will seek out John for answers.  As much as Kelly has lied over the years to attempt to have her kids hate John their father, he is still and will always be their father. And just as my children have done, Kelly and John’s children want the truth so they can move on to healthy, productive, successful lives. I do hope Kelly views Kevin’s experience with his children as a warning that the more one tries to keep a child away from a parent, the more that child is going to seek them out and when they find out that Kelly has lied to them all these years, I do hope she realizes the consequences per what has transpired with her brother’s children. I do believe that Kelly is a better parent than her brother Kevin. But, let’s face it- he hasn’t set the bar too high. Just because Kelly is a better parent than her oldest brother does not mean she is a good parent. Good, loving parents don’t lie to their children and tell them that they are not allowed to have a relationship with their father because he’s a mean man and a criminal. Good, loving parents don’t tell lies to their children especially when the children have fond, loving memories of their dad. Good, loving parents don’t tell their children that if it is found out that you had contact with your father then you will be punished and removed off all media sites for good. Good, loving parents don’t bribe their children by buying them material items but threaten to remove them if they have contact with their father. And most importantly, good loving parents don’t use their children as trophies in an effort to say, “Look at what a wonderful Mom I am.” My advice to Kelly is that she must tell her children ALL the truths about herself and their father before they find it out on their own either through their older brother, their cousins, family or friends, me or more importantly-John.

I have learned many things in all my trials but one very important thing that I have learned about children is this: Children don’t expect perfect parents. They want honest ones.

I know that this is a very long entry but it was necessary to share all that I have to set a clear picture of where I was 11 years ago and where I am today. I have overcome much and there were times that it was all I could do to place one foot in front of the other some days. But where I stand today is proof that truth does prevail and love is always the answer. The events that took place in the United States this year with my children and families opened a whole new chapter in all of our lives. I was able to create an even deeper bond with my children and it was so wonderful to sit back and watch them dance, sing and enjoy each other after all these years of separation and manipulation.  They finally achieved their “exhale moment.”

All of our physical memories (gifts, photos, notes, toys, “firsts”) were destroyed by Kevin, Sr. But it is okay. In this new chapter of our lives, we can document new memories and I look forward to many more family reunions in the States…SOON!

Having said that, I hope this New Year brings all of you a more peaceful one…a more joyous one…a more loving one.

Thank you once again for taking time to be a part of my life by reading my blog. Thanks to all of my readers who have followed me on this journey and for all the words of encouragement. I am truly grateful.

I'm choosing happiness over suffering, I know I am. I'm making space for the unknown future to fill up my life with yet-to-come surprises.”  ~Elizabeth Gilbert, -Eat, Pray, Love

Rest....Regroup...Return 

Here are some of many photos from my oldest son's wedding. You can see more on my Facebook page. I cannot describe how thankful and very happy I was to be a part of this wonderful moment of many.

 

 

A hug I have dreamed about for 11 years.

 

My oldest son escorting me down the isle for the wedding ceremony.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 My 4 beautiful children all grown up. It was so wonderful to put my arms around each of them.

 

 

 

 Me and my baby Justin...aka...Bogey. We waited 11 hard years for this reunion but it was like we were never pulled from each other. Except he is much taller.

 Their first dance as husband and wife as we all looked on with love and admiration. The tears were defiantly flowing all around.

Not only did I travel to Texas and New Jersey. I also spent time in Florida and Georgia with family and friends.

 Standing in Cocoa Beach Florida. What a blast. 

 

 

 

 

Traveling on the A1A Highway on my way to Georgia. Great memories...

Col Kevin P Landers Sr. Us Army admits to abusing me

 Landers leaves troops behind-please read 23 comments

A side note....
I originally posted this entry in June 2013. I am re posting this entry because I received alot of responses and input. I want to bring you to the current events. I have stated that Col Kevin Landers had dismissed our children from his life as long as they were in contact with me. Recently, Kevin has re-engaged with our older son and older daughter. He did have contact with our daughter "A" in the summer of 2012 in Texas in an effort to bribe "A" to help his goal to prosecute me in the courts here in Mexico. It didn't work. As a matter of fact, the judge here in San Miguel along with the Embassy basically told Kevin and Melody to stop wasting their time on frivolous lies against me and John.

Kevin is getting ready to take on a new job in North Carolina and hopes that his lies will not follow him. In an effort to do this, he and Melody are trying to display on public media sites and to "new friends" that our four children have been a part of their lives all along. It's a lie. I have NEVER brainwashed my children against their father nor Melody. Our children have chosen to not speak to Kevin nor Melody until now. Why? Because their brother Justin is getting ready to join the marines and the kids want to be a part of Justin's life after years of being alienated from him. Keep in mind that "K" "M" and "A" had not seen or spoken to their brother Justin in more than 5 years. 

Justin has been used as a tool by Kevin to control his siblings and once Justin is out his fathers home, classic Col Kevin Landers will bribe our kids with money, cars, vacations and, material items or worse-"I won't love you if you don't abide by my demands" because he does not know how to show love without manipulation. Please read this entry below and understand that I am posting public facts based from the internet. Think me a liar but truth speaks loud on these public sites. So do our children, but the children are afraid to talk out-loud because they fear their fathers anger. I can understand their fear. Kevin will go to any lengths to hide his secrets and get his way no matter who he hurts in the process.

I cannot paint a clearer picture in this entry as to how unstable, mean and manipulative Col Kevin Paul Landers and his wife Melody truly are to the children they claim they tried to protect. Col Landers in all facts-threw his daughters and son away because they did not fit the mold of the perfect family. Our children were becoming rebellious, angry and withdrawn under Kevin and Melodys care for over years of me forbidden(by Kevin) to not have contact with them. Kevin was embarrassed of our children and their behaviors after our divorce but now that they are healing and doing better years after he abandoned them-he wants them back in his life so he can say "See what a great father I have been." 

It will be said that our chidrens instabilities are because "I left them" but as the truth unfolds everyday to the children, they see that Kevin and Melody have lied to them all these years.

Please keep your eyes wide open when you encounter Kevin and Melody Landers. They are not what they portray themselves to be and they will continue to "hide" behind the children.

Entry from June, 2013

As I write this next entry, I’m reminded of the shape of Wall Street & private companies and the shambles CEO’s have left them in as they depart. I’m reminded of the demise of our USA government & political offices & it causes me to ponder, “How in the Heck did they get there!”. I wonder how some priests ever became much less remained priest amongst all their abuses? And how a person like Kevin Paul Landers, Sr. continues to soar in the US Military (specifically US Army). Because I was this officers wife for over 18 years, I am extremely knowledgeable of my ex-husband’s abuses, negligence and lies. I am at a loss as to why a corporation/employer (the US Army) continues to “look the other way & turn their head concerning Lt. Col Landers’s obvious dysfunctions in his performance as a soldier, a husband, a father, an officer and a peer.

I want to begin with Kevin’s dysfunction as a father and a husband and how obvious it is that this man neglected & perverted his personal life. He runs on resentment and hate. If you don’t do as he says, and act as he commands-you are nothing to him. My children and I have felt shut down, beaten down and left to feel unloved and alone at least once if not more than once by the temper tantrums from Lt. Col. Kevin P. Landers Sr.  Let me share with you some public examples.

After Kevin lied to the court & had our child lie to the court, he succeeded in obtaining physical custody of all 4 children in July 2005 (the children had chosen to live with me). He made it very difficult for me to have any contact with our children but through the world wide web, family and loyal friends I was able to gather whereabouts of my children’s location(s). Although he lied, stole & cheated in an effort to gain possession of our children, he immediately started discarding them as he realized I was not going to return to him…he continues to use our children as pawns to try & silence me.

In this first article dated January 11^th 2008, Kevin accepts a promotion and he claims 6 children.

“LTC Landers and his wife Melody currently reside in Fayetteville, North Carolina. He has 4 children, Kevin Jr, Megan, Amanda, and Justin all of Fayetteville, and two stepchildren, Kyle Wilson of Fayetteville, and Kayla Wilson of Big Springs, West Virginia”-

 http://www.hurherald.com/cgi-bin/db_scripts/articles?Action=user_view&db=hurheral_articles&id=26892

8 months later, Kevin accepts command of the 4^th Engineers Fort Carson, Co. In this article, Kevin claims 5 children.

Col Landers now only claims 5 children

“Landers is married to the former Melody Wilson of Grantsville, West Virginia. They have five children: Kevin Jr., Kyle, Megan, Amanda and Justin.”

I acknowledge that errors & oversights occur but honestly, how could the number of children and the name of a child be mistaken? This is a red flag in the household of Lt. Col. Landers and his wife Melody.

So let me continue further to show you that there were no mistakes in the details of these articles. These articles were approved for printing by a man that is bitter because his mentality as an abuser is to turn away anyone that acknowledges my existence. US Army officer Kevin Paul Landers wants people to hate me because I hold his secrets. When any of our children refused to denounce my existence, Lt. Col. Landers would put them out of his home & into government funded (free) facilities. My children were begging to have contact with me and to silence them in an effort to hide his secrets and lies-he tried to hide them from society and me. This way, Kevin could lie about his own children and me without rebuttals and do what Kevin Landers does best-Damage Control. He would proceed to tell the people that inquired about his children that use to be in the "happy family portrait" that the kids were having emotional problems because of the divorce but the bottom line is the children were having emotional problems because they were to act as if I never existed. 
This "family" portrait below was made and hung on the wall within months after I was forced out of my children lives. I know this because once the children were in my life again-they started to share the stories of what life was like with their father and Melody. If you look closely, it appears Kevin is not wearing a wedding ring but my computer resolution may not be as good as some.

Our divorce proceedings barely started and Kevin is living with a woman, and insisting that our children accept the fact that this woman (Melody) that they hardly know-is going to be their new Mother. According to my now adult children-they shared that Kevin told them that Melody was going to be a better mother than I ever was and that they better accept that fact without questions. What children wouldn't have rebellious behavior or emotional issues after being told something like this by their father? My children told me they had to secretly cry because if they said one word about me their father and/or Melody punished them by yelling, degrading or locking them away. Once again-how can any logical person not see how unstable Kevin Landers behaivor is? He had or has no desire to raise our children. His goal in our divorce was to "win" but once he "won" our children-he left them behind while he pursued what he loves best-himself. All he cares about is-Kevin. No matter how much he has to lie, cheat, manipulate or abuse-his goal is to take care of himself. 
Once the kids were secure within facilities, he would ignore them. By that I mean, he had NO contact with them. He supplied no emotional, verbal or financial support. Our daughters M and A begged for their father to speak to them. M in particular, would asked her father if he would give her permission to graduate early from Job Corps because she was excelling rapidly. His response-"M, you only contact me when you need something." Really Kevin?

Here is the daughter that he manipulated into breaking into our kitchen window to try to steal court documents and then had her lie to a judge on his behalf? Then, after he didn't need her help- threw her away in the world with no support what so ever. A came next. So, conclude that the bottom line is-Kevin hates women even if they are his precious "little girls"
Here is a video that was recorded on January 11th, 2011 at my home here in San Miguel de Allende. My daughter "A" was already living with me and John. "M" had just graduated from Job Corps and wanted to live with me. These two sisters were forbidden to see or speak to each other in over 4 years by the demands of their father Col, Kevin P Landers, How much crueler can a father let alone a human being be? We did not tell daughter "A"that her sister was coming just in case Kevin tried to prevent daughter "M" from living with us. He did try but "M" was of legal age to choose and she chose to be with me.

I have all the emails and hateful responses to both of his daughters that he so carelessly threw away into the world. The allegations of drug abuse and lying by his 2 little girls is Kevin's written excuses in the emails to ignore his daughters. A tactic he used on me as a grown woman-his wife. Really?? An abuser, cheater, and swinger that happens to be an officer, father, and claimed christian that is acting self-righteous and continues to as long as society allows him.  

A little over a year later, in 2009, another article was posted. This article reveals that Lt. Col. Landers is willing to claim NOT 6; NOT 4 but now only 4 yrs after having obtained physical custody of our children, their father has “put 4 of them away”. In 2009, he only claimed 2 children: J Landers & Melody’s son Kyle Ray. How can the US army not question the stability and integrity of a solider that does not even claim his own children publicly or privately? I do believe that in Kevin’s mind, moving to Colorado would enable him to “start anew” where he could lie to a new audience. How sad it is that he would not acknowledge & would lie about 3 of his own children & Melody’s daughter.

“The Landers' reside in Fort Carson, Colorado Springs, CO with their two sons Kyle, 17, and Justin, 12.”
Col Landers now only claims 2 children

In an effort to start over, Melody and Kevin decided to create their own business called Kyles Home Health Care. A business in name & photo’s only.

http://www.kyleshomehealth.org/about_us

above: Melody, Kyle & Kevin

Our Family

In the Kyle’s Home Healthcare website, once again, only two children’s pictures show up-Kyle and Justin. What about Kyle’s sister that adored every breath he took? Why was she not honored as also being a part of a miracle in the life that Kevin and Melody claim they want to live? What about Kyle’s other siblings (my & Kevin’s children)?” I have heard wonderful stories shared by my older children about how sweet and funny Kyle was. Where are the pictures of the siblings that became a part of Kyle’s day-to-day life in July 2005?

The words “Our Family” does not apply to those that refuse to lie on their father’s behalf. Does it seem strange that there are no pictures of the other children? If a father is not going to claim his 3 other children and his wife is not going to claim her only daughter, then why should the US Army be upset when their Lt. Col. Landers chose to ABANDON his post & troops in Afghanistan! It is understandable to have a strained relationship with one child that is a young adult. But Kevin not only denies one child - he denies the existence of 4 of his 6 children!  Can the military and the public in general not see that this man, husband and father has a lot of internal issues.

Within a year’s time, Lt. Col. Kevin Landers and his wife Melody went from claiming 6 children to acknowledging ONLY two sons-Kyle and J. What happened to Kevin’s oldest son-K.? Where are M and A? What happened to Melody’s daughter Kayla? I can answer those questions and so can Kayla, K, Jr., M and A. But the one child that has much to say but has not been permitted to speak out or allowed to maintain contact with his siblings is the one child that sat back in a dark corner crying and watching his siblings being verbally abused and kicked out methodically one by one. That child is the ONLY child that did not have a choice because of his age. The child that had to say goodbye not once, not twice, but several times to the siblings that refused to allow the hate to continue by their father; a child that was not allowed to speak, exist, or breathe without permission from his dad. Let alone, talk about his mom or brother or sisters. A child that is now 8 years older than in 2005; once an 8 year old that has matured into an almost 17 year old young adult. Yet he, J, is still terrified to pick up the phone or computer and try to contact any of us without his controlling father’s permission. This Lt. Col. father that lost control over me; lost control of his oldest son; lost control of his two daughters. Kevin lost this control because all 4 of us stood up to him and refused to be abused any longer. Our son J (he will turn 17 in September this year) has not been permitted physical contact with his immediate family for 8 years because Kevin Sr. decided that it would be best “for Justin” to: Forget about his mother; Denounce the older brother that he adored (6yrs difference in age); Have nothing to do with his 2 older sisters. Although daddy beat me out of the relationship and kicked his other 3 children out of his life, Lt. Col. Landers insisted that J MUST forget about all 4 of us because,  “They left us and don’t care about us. They don’t love you the way we do and all of our lives are much better without your mother and sisters because they tell lies about me.” Lt. Col. Landers professes to all that will listen, “Your mother is trying to ruin my career!” Kevin has a history with me and our children of treating us like garbage, and then in classic manipulator form, crying on the beaten down person’s shoulder as he (Kevin) tries to justify to himself & convince others that HE is the true victim. This act does have success with one that is scared, hurt & lonely. I observed his game often & can spot it in its infancy. Observation & studies indicate that the abuser is weak, mean and insecure. They only prey on ones that are vulnerable which includes young children-my children.

It is important to set up a clear, honest picture of how a man that portrays himself as a “honest”, “accountable”, “fair”, “caring”, “respected”, “responsible” man/soldier can be a mass manipulator that only cares about one thing in life-himself.

So having said that let me continue with my writings about how one man can abuse a system if that system allows him to do so.

Anymore, our leadership seems to have become more about seniority and not performance. Of course with every situation, there are always exceptions. For instance, I personally know of two officers that stand above many of those with equal rank. Both of my younger sisters(Debbie Milhorn and Sue Benson) husbands are exceptional military officers. These officers are very recognizable and are respected on their own merits. My brother-in-laws stand stable and respected for their performance as sons, brothers, husbands, fathers and soldiers. These two men (both officers in the US Army) take care of their families with pride, protection and love. They transfer these same attributes to the troops that serve with them. These outstanding soldiers that have to share a rank with Col Landers who doesn't deserve to be in the same “arena” as my sisters husbands. It's quite frustrating and disappointing to them, their families and soldiers because all are well aware of Kevin's unmeritable life with me, our 4 children and the soldiers that don't respect him yet under the ranking system-must keep their mouth shut-or else. It is evident that Kevin leads his troops the way he leads his children and wives...shut up-OR ELSE!!

“In the military there is no distinction between conduct in personal life and that of the military life. The two are one.”  Military Code of Ethics | eHow http://www.ehow.com/about_6825168_military-code-ethics.html#ixzz2WZFGhaD4

It is unfortunate, that our country has embrace the mentality of, “the pursuit of power at any cost including the abuse and neglect of our colleagues, peers, communities and worst yet, of our own children…success at any sacrifice!” What is happening to integrity, pride and accountability? Where is the feeling of accomplishment that comes from making an “honest living”. How can one find fulfillment knowing that their successes and promotions are bogus & not warranted?

In every high ranked position or company, there are certain ethics that are expected.  As a society, we are starting to lose the expectation that people are to earn excellence through hard work, honesty and respect. Respect from their families; respect from their peers; respect from co-workers; respect from one’s competition. In this case, respect from the soldiers you command as well as your peers & upper command.  No matter what position one holds, the ethics are universal, simple and obvious.  Yet my frustration is that we are losing our pursuit of accountability for leaders that abuse their rank and power.

“In my 39 years in the military, I have learned that you are not a profession just because you say you are,” he said. “You have to earn it and re-earn it and re-evaluate it from time to time.”  General Dempsey

As an Army officer’s wife, I am very familiar with The Code of Conduct and Ethics. As you all know, I left my ex-husband on Monday January 17, 2005 after years of abuse. We had lived a secret life behind the walls of our homes and our children witnessed years of verbal hate and physical beatings/abuse of their mother at the hands of Lt. Col. Kevin Paul Landers. I had been raised to “stand by my man” period. I agree that I should & would perform my responsibility to support, protect and stand by my man-my solider. I did my best for 18 years to protect Lt. Col.  Kevin Landers in an effort that would allow him to appear to be one of integrity, accountability, respect, caring, fairness and promise keeping.  Yet Lt. Col. Landers chose not to control his anger. Anger directed towards me and our children.  I knew that I had to make some changes or all of us were headed for disaster. I feared that I may not wake up one day after a classic episode of rage because Kevin hates himself. After a “typical” beating, with blood coming from my nose, and hand prints embedded on my neck, I asked Kevin (who at this time was in a panic crying state – he panicked when I lost consciousness from his strangling me) as he cried and held me stroking my forehead with a wet cloth, I asked, “Why do you beat me?” Without missing a tear, he said, “I see orange”??? Back then, I didn’t know that no matter what I did to try to please Kevin, he would never be happy with me, no happiness with his kids nor has he found fulfillment with himself.

The only time that Kevin appeared to be happy is when things were going his way. I knew Kevin had anger issues but I truly thought I could help him control his anger if I would just do what he asked... “Stand by your man” at any cost was expected and I did the best I could. Unfortunately, this perverted relationship has caused my children to conclude, “Dad will stop if you (mom) will stop…(whatever demand his current mood presents)”.

I questioned what role Kevin thought I should perform. “What can I do as Kevin’s wife to make him happy?” When I asked him this question, he immediately took this as an opportunity to share with me his “late night work” of surfing porn & video chatting with other men & women. I was devastated and felt humiliation. It was at this time that I was introduced to my husband’s porn addiction.  Now I knew what role he wanted me to play as his wife. I longed to make him happy & decided to support and please him at any cost. You can refer to my blog entry called “Swingers” for more detail. Kevin has stated that he NEVER surfed porn and states that all the things I write about his sex addiction is a lie. However, I have the hard drive to the computer he used to surf porn. Screen shots of him exposing himself to women & men. Photo’s of others doing the same, along with names, locations, etc. I can produce all if ordered to do so.

In 2005, Kevin tried to break into our home in Fayetteville, NC after I was granted a restraining order against Kevin. He was going after a few things but primarily the hard drive.  I have hours and hours of Kevin’s infidelities and addictions

“Anyone who approaches an abuse situation with the notion that somehow through kindness and love, through behavior changes by victims, etc., the "good part" of the abuser can be reached and appealed to, needs to step down off of their high horse and just stop it! Stop giving advice to victims of abuse. Stop counseling abusers or even listening to them. This kind of thinking is foolishness at best and rank arrogance at worst. And it is dangerous.”~ Jeff Crippen

I am reminded that sometimes there is no good in people. Sometimes people are just mean and if they appear to be nice what is their motive? Is their motive to truly try to apologize for their evil ways and rectify the pains they’ve caused others or is the motive to try to “trick” or manipulate others in an effort to achieve a selfish goal at any cost. A “cost”, including stomping a loved ones heart over and over again.

As John’s father once said to me when I could not grasp WHY my ex was and is still so hateful, “Sometimes there are just mean people in this world and we will never make sense of it. Mean is just mean. It can’t always be explained.”

Kevin does not care if I or we think he is mean, UNLESS it affects his career or ambitions. If he starts to be exposed, as I have done with this blog, he goes to great lengths to 
(1) Try to bully me to stop talking by taking me to court with his 5 inch binder of lies, or 
(2) play the victim to his peers, family, township or worst of all his kids. Kevin has and continues to display typical behaviors of an abuser. 
One of Kevin’s main characteristics of a classic abuser is that he blames everyone else for his anger, abuses, neglects…pretty much does not take accountability for anything. And when confronted with “no way out”, it’s because of the “orange”. He has tried to convince society that I was unstable and he had to protect himself.  
Note that Kevin has never denied beating me. But he justifies it in a court order. According to Kevin’s falsified court order filed February 17^th 2012, he states that I would throw things at him, antagonize him and he “may have restrained me physically” in an effort to protect himself. A typical excuse by an abuser, “He” had to beat me in an effort to protect me from harming myself or him so punching me in the face, slamming my head against the wall or throwing me across the room was acceptable? Keep in mind that my children knew of his abuses. Kevin also states in this court order that because no police reports were filed it clearly proves his innocence. What terrifies this abuser the most is that our children witnessed beating after beating…too many for them to count.  After conversations, some counsel and support our children know that a man should NEVER strike a woman; a man should never strike his children in anger; heck a person should NEVER strike another…ESPECIALLY a person that is an easy target – a 180# officer punching, kicking, choking, raping his 125# wife. Good example Lt. Col. Landers. Sad.

"Abusers lack empathy which is why they can bloody your face and throw you a towel in disgust – “Clean yourself up, you are a mess!”  They will never admit fault for your pain, because you – according to them – “Brought it on yourself!” Abusers are very capable of fake empathy, especially when the abused threatens to leave them. The false tears only serve to melt the heart of the abused, and the cycle of torture will repeat itself. This is how the crazy making stage begins."

Kevin knows this and he knows that the kids understand this. He cannot bully our kids into silence anymore because of their ages & lack of dependence on his “orders”. But abusers like Kevin will always find antics to protect the lies they continue to live by. Kevin’s biggest fear - now that our “young adult children” are free to speak – is their voices that confirm the “Family Picture” I have blogged. Voices that he silenced as minors…voices he continues to try to silence with unfulfilled promises of: financial assistance with college, cars, payment of future weddings, all paid joint vacations, down payments for a home…and then the worst of all – you can see/talk to your brother if you silence your mom & help me expose her “lies”. I call these “The Bribes of Silence”.

 “…you can have someone who is intensely competent, who is steeped in the skills of the profession, but doesn’t live a life of character.” General Dempsey

It has also been stated by Kevin’s wife that Lt. Col. Landers is suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) caused by “the war.” Hence, he has severe anger issues according to Melody. I would dare say that Kevin may have or will try to convince his peers, family and children of the same-“War has changed me…I have anger and abuse issues because of my battlefield exposure.” I do agree that the horrible acts in war do have unimaginable effects on soldiers & I know that PTSD is legitimate and a huge concern for our men & women. BUT, please keep in mind that civilian Kevin Paul Landers of Hicksville, L.I. New York started beating me in 1987…well over 2 years of beatings were taking place before Kevin in 1989 joined University of Georgia ROTC.  As a matter of fact, according to the Dept. of Veterans Affairs (http://www.ptsd.va.gov/) Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and my personal experience in helping others with PTSD, this disorder can occur following a life-threatening event like military combat, natural disasters, terrorist incidents, serious accidents, or violent personal assaults like rape.  In our 18 years of marriage, Kevin never experienced any of these. Being that 15 of my 18 years of marriage included the US Army, I supported officer Landers through every deployment. I was involved in family support groups and saw first hand what facing combat close up can do to a solider and family. Kevin never faced any combative situations or imminent dangers in the 18 years we were together. The only deployment in our 18 year marriage was when Kevin was part of Operation Restore Hope. We were stationed at Fort Benning, GA under Col. Robert (Larry) Davis’s command. However, no deaths, shootings, or the “theater of war” ever occurred in Kevin’s company. It would be very insulting for Lt. Col. Kevin Landers to dilute other soldier’s experiences of tragedy by comparing his decision to beat women & denounce his children as being a result of PTSD & combat. No matter how one tries to justify Lt. Col. Landers behavior, this/his behavior is NOT becoming of an officer. Not the measure of a man -period.

It is common and well documented knowledge that after I filed for divorce in 2005, Kevin eventually was given command of the 4^th ENG. (engineers) Fort Carson, CO and there were unfortunately casualties within his unit/command. I note these casualties because I want to acknowledge my awareness of my children’s father being in harm’s way since their parents’ divorce. However, Lt. Col. Kevin P. Landers needs to be very careful in blaming circumstances for his treatment towards his children. Lt. Col. Landers carried his lack of leadership within the household with him to the volatile environment in Afghanistan…perhaps it was a “orange” sighting that prompted Lt. Col. Kevin Paul Landers, Sr. to abandon his troops In 2010 while being the commander of the 4^th Engineers, Fort Carson, CO.  

FACT according to this news article written by family members from the 4th ENG Batallion, it is a direct slam against the role as commander by Lt. Col. Landers. 
Please read comments from very distraught families and soldiers in below link-

LTC Kevin Landers abondones troops in Afghanistan 

You can quickly assess that the families of the soldiers Lt. Col. Landers was suppose to protect were very upset with his leadership and selfishness. According to the news, Lt. Col. Kevin Landers arrived 2 weeks prior to the planned return of himself & the 500 troops under his command…he left behind his troops (.) Lt. Col. Landers left behind the very soldiers that followed him into combat!

The comments on this article caused a lot of turmoil. In their “5 inch binder”, Kevin & Melody claim that I set up fake accounts and all 23 comments were from me. The US Army is a small enough community that I am quite certain Kevin’s peers can determine the truth of these articles. Once again, abusers will go to any lengths to manipulate and lie to hide their true colors.

Having said that, no apology or explanation was issued; nor were there any logical excuses for this commander to abandon his troops. How can the military continue to allow this US Army officer to wear the uniform and excel in a military that prides themselves on “taking care of their own”; “An Army of one” – unless you’re Lt. Col. Kevin Paul Landers? Sickening.

“Some wonder whether its top officers have forgotten the lessons of Bathsheba: The crown of command should not be worn with arrogance, and while rank has its privileges, remember that infallibility and entitlement are not among them.”

Kevin Paul Landers, Sr. is paid to be a leader. He is paid to be respected. He is paid to play a role as a soldier leading soldiers. Kevin does well performing tasks he is being paid to do. At one time I claimed Kevin to be a good soldier even though he lacked in the unpaid role of husband & father.  Yet with his 2010 “troop abandonment”, he has proven to be an unworthy officer/soldier as well.

One may ask, “Catherine, who are you to judge what Kevin’s qualifications are?” I have answered that question in this entry. 

So, here I end with this paragraph. Our military leadership is to be based on the below attributes and are required of the US military & its members:

Honesty, Integrity, Accountability, Fairness, Caring, Respect, Promise Keeping, Responsible Citizenship, Pursuit of Excellence

Kevin has not proven that he is capable of any of these. His pattern of abuse, lies and continued slander against me and his kids is obvious.

I know Kevin very well. Better that anyone. I was married to him for 18 years. I can predict his moods, his moves and his motives. He currently is working towards a new position and he will go to any lengths to ensure that his lies are not exposed. His tactics will once again include an attempt to use our children in an effort to “protect him” by convincing them that he was the victim all along. I dare say that as I write this, in Kevin’s mind, he is already planning on blaming Melody for all the horrible things that happened to our children after I was out of the picture. I can hear him now, “I had no idea what was going on because I was always deployed”; “Melody has a lot of psychological issues and I didn’t know that when we married”; “I just love you so much and I am sorry Melody was so mean to you”; “Your mom really hurt me when she left me for ‘Uncle John”.  Blah Blah Blah-

Melody has never had legal say in any of our 4 children’s lives. My daughter’s could have not been sent away from facility to facility without their father’s approval. There is not one power that Melody has or has ever had to determine the suffering my children endured during these past 8 years. Their misery was at the hands of one person- their father. Hurt per the choices of a father that only contacts them when he needs something. My children do not understand how far their father will go to try to use them to help him gain a goal…he will turn on the crying while on his hands and knees professing his victimization. Oh how I have seen him do that time after time after time. He does not stay on his knees long. He is like a wolf crouching for the next hunt. All that come in his presence need to keep their eyes wide open. Do your own background check on his history (personal & military). Beware. You have been informed. 

A recent side note as of 2014:
Kevin and his wife Melody are trying to convince society that our children were aloud to have contact all along but they chose not to. I can produce emails where our children begged their father to permit them to speak to each other and me. Col Landers is a mass manipulator and if all else fails, he threatens to take our now adult children to court if they speak openly. He is the meanest, most unstable man I have ever met.

REST...REGROUP...RETURN