Kelly Baker Barnes and Col. Kevin P. Landers disown their behavior

I have stayed quiet for some time on my blog. I told myself that as long as my ex and his wife stopped the harassment, then my effort to defend myself and my children would no longer be necessary. However, per recent harassment,  I thought it would be a good idea to use my voice once again.

That moment is now.

My children are now free from their father’s home and this is a good thing. Although they long for their father's love, their father is incapable of giving love without conditions. Conditions that benefit him...not them. One firm condition he insists upon is, he will have nothing to do with them unless they hate me.

John's 4 younger children will be walking away from their mother Kelly's home to go to college, but better yet, a road to their freedom to live outside of their mother’s daily monitoring; monitoring to ensure that Luke, Samantha, Evan and Ethan do NOT communicate with their dad, John. They can think and breathe openly with their own beliefs and choices. What an exciting time for LSEE! We are so happy for them.

John's oldest son just got married on June 24th. John could not attend for reasons that all of you are aware of and although Nate and Katherine also invited me, I gracefully declined. I told Nate that as much as I would love to be there, I thought it best to not attend because it would have caused quite a bit of a distraction from him and his new wife. Nate agreed. However, a dear friend, MaryLou Couch streamed the entire wedding for us so we could see the ceremony unfold in real time. MaryLou is like a mother to Nate and we are grateful that she and her family have also embraced us.

What a lovely gesture from a very sweet woman.

My children were also invited to the wedding but for various reasons could not attend.  When they found out their father Col. Kevin P. Landers and his wife Melody were not invited, that made their inability to attend even more disappointing. As you remember, Kevin Sr. tried to ruin our oldest son's wedding.

(Col Kevin P Landers gets reprimanded by law enforcement) Nate made it very clear that he doesn't respect nor like Kevin and Melody and DID NOT want them at his and Katherine’s wedding. His mom Kelly was insistent that her oldest brother and Melody be invited. However, Nate held his ground to ensure that Kevin Landers Sr. and Melody did not come any where near him or his new wife. Nate is a very kind, forgiving, devoted soul and rarely dislikes anyone and to be honest...if someone doesn't like Nate then you assume that there is something wrong with them, not Nate. However, over the years, things have been said about Nate and things have been done by Col. Landers and Melody that have made Nate put up boundaries with them. Many times, Melody has posted lies about Nate's father John on Nate's social media sites to try to degrade and humiliate John. Nate is very close to his father. Nate and John have one the closest father/son relationships I have ever seen and they are very devoted to each other. So Melody's continued antics to attempt to lie and harass have cost her and her husband to not be invited to not one but now two weddings in the family. If their hatred continues, I dare say family gatherings will not include Colonel & Mrs. Kevin Paul Landers of Wilmington, NC.

Now I'm sure it was said that Col. Landers could not attend because of his job, but that is a lie. The Colonel just retired from the US Army, so his job was of no issue. His behaviors and his wife's are why they were not allowed to attend the happy, special occasion.

Below is a screenshot of just one example of many I possess that shows how Melody tried to discredit Nate's dad publicly with lies. This was very upsetting to Nate that someone this evil was trying to hurt his father with lies. It was also said publicly by Melody and Kevin that Nate is a disrespectful, disobedient child that needs reprimanding. Even worse, when Nate was 15 years old and an excellent student and well behaved young man, his mother, Kelly, threatened to put Nate in a boarding school for unruly boys because he was talking to his Dad. I am sure that Nate’s siblings have heard similar threats from their mother over the years i.e.”your dad is on the run and if you talk to him, you will go to juvenile detention”; or, “my attorney and the counselor said it is against the law for you to communicate with ‘him”.  What kind of mother threatens their children with such atrocities because they want to communicate with their father? Kelly also told Luke, Samantha, Evan and Ethan that they would go to jail if they talked to their father. She started telling them this from the age of 6. Pretty disgusting when a parent forces a child to live in fear because she was afraid that her lies would be exposed. One of the many reasons I write a blog is to stop the liars from continually lying and not taking responsibility for the damage they have caused 10 children(to include Melody's daughter Kayla), myself and John.

As far as the Landers family and their "damage control" to try to preserve & present their reputation as God loving, law abiding citizens...well, their ploy to try to bury years of lies is quickly coming to an end. Society sees them through their fake smiles, made up faces, fancy clothes and material possessions. Looking successful means nothing if your kids, family and others don't admire the person you are behind closed doors. By that I mean, words mean nothing unless you live them in your everyday lives. People can say, "I have changed" or "I want to get better" or

"I have rededicated my life to (my god)" but that means nothing unless you live it and show it to others everyday....especially your spouses and children.

It was brought to my attention by several persons that Kelly is going around telling people that she and her brother Colonel Kevin have re-dedicated their life to their god. First of all, why does Kelly need to defend her brother? He is a big boy that is capable of standing on his own merit and that is for him to share...not her. Secondly, if Kelly is truly repenting then she must admit all the lies she told to the courts, to herself and especially to her children that have lost many pivotal years with their father. Kelly used the courts and Judge Caldwell (he was a judge disbarred for sexual, disorderly conduct: see Judge Johnnie Caldwell perversions with women in his courts ) and claims that she is only following court orders. However, she refuses to cooperate with authorities that have requested that she cooperate with negotiating for John to return to GA to be with his children (these requests were made from 2006 thru 2016). Kelly is adamant that John have his parental rights terminated; charged & convicted with 5 counts of child abandonment and serve maximum time in prison; her reply to attempts to settle CSR arrearage, “All or none; plus time in prison”. Yeah, she’s charming.  No one is making her continue to demand an ungodly amount to money from John. Kelly knows John can't pay hundreds of thousands of dollars to her. Kelly can drop all falsified charges but she won't because if John can travel back to the states and try to engage with his 4 younger children, then Kelly will have to face her demons and lies, something Kelly does not want to happen because - bottom line -  John's children will realize what an awesome father John was and still is. Turning your life over to your god does not mean just parts of you. You must hand over ALL of you. Take a moral inventory of yourself, admit to others your lies and sins, repent and ask for forgiveness and that is what rededicating your life to the one and only God entails. But, I know that Col. Landers nor Kelly Baker Barnes are actively doing anything to help mend the people (fathers, mothers, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, siblings, daughters, sons) they methodically and actively broke. It has to take someone to bring accountability and exposure to their abuses. Otherwise, these abusers will live their lives with no accountability for destroying others because they care more about denying their lies than caring about the people that try to love them.

"The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians, who acknowledge Jesus with their lips and walk out the door and deny Him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world finds unbelievable."~Brennan Manning

I am a Christian and I love my God. But, my 4 children are not sure there is a God. Why would they? They have witnessed their father beat me. cheat on me, lie to me, and lie to them. Their father made them lie in a courtroom(or else), lie to neighbors and family, and demanded our children consider me dead...that Melody was now their mother. A step-mother who continually degraded my name, threw away all existence of me once she moved in with Kevin(while he and I were still married) and then abused my kids. Their paternal grandfather(Poppy) who was an elder in 3 different churches but was told he had to resign because of his anger outbursts. Poppy-who was verbally abusive to his wife, and once my children publicly loved me-their Poppy disowned them. A paternal grandmother(Magaw) who acts as if my children don't exist because they love and embrace me and John. An Aunt Kelly who yells all the time, only cares about her looks and material possessions, and cheats on her husband. These listed people go to church every Sunday and point fingers at everyone else. Why would my kids want to embrace our Father when their own father has lied, bullied, and cheated his way through our marriage and his life. Being an officer in the Army is not impressive if your immediate family has fallen apart and fears your anger outburst and abuses.

The Landers, to include Kelly's mother Becky(Magaw) will never admit that they were active in trying to hide their family secrets and knowingly lie, neglect and harm the children involved....especially my children. Becky has chosen to ignore 4 of her grandchildren for over 10 years now. Becky was invited to her grandsons(my son) wedding in November, 2015 and did not attend because she hates me more then she loves her Grandchildren. What kind of loving grandmother does that? My children have lost 3 grandparents over these last few years and Becky is the only living grandparent they have left. A loving grandmother would not alienate children of divorce...NO MATTER WHO SIDE SHE CHOOSES! A loving grandmother would love ALL of her grandchildren unconditionally-something the Landers family to include her late husband Jim(Poppy) are incapable of doing. They are vengeful and mean.

So as it stands today, there are new chapters in our children's lives that are forming and for this we are thankful. John and I love our children and pray everyday that they succeed in whatever they choose and that they live happy, healthy, productive lives. That they find love and give love unconditionally in spite of their upbringings by unstable parents. As you all know, I have re-united with my 4 children even though their father and Melody did everything in their power to convince them to hate me - it did NOT work.

I pray that the 4 younger Baker kids seek their father John out when they feel ready and do so no matter what their mother Kelly threatens or bribes them with. I know that they will find that their dad has loved them since the day they were born and never stopped trying to reach them through phone calls, videos, letters and gifts.

I will close with this thought. Parents that alienate their kids can do it so easily when the children are younger and not as free to think on their own. It's easy to intimidate a child when you are bigger than them. But, one day, those little children grow up and start making choices of their own. They start seeking answers for questions that have been unanswered or worse - lies told. Kelly may think she has gotten away with all her vengeance and lies because years have passed and her god has forgiven her. Maybe God has for I am not one to judge what God decides. But, when the Baker children find out what she has done to try to destroy a relationship with their father, there will be hell to pay and they may have a hard time forgiving her. If she doesn't believe me, she can ask her brother.

“You have minds like a snake pit! How do you suppose what you say is worth anything when you are so foul-minded? It’s your heart, not the dictionary, that gives meaning to your words. A good person produces good deeds and words season after season. An evil person is a blight on the orchard. Let me tell you something: Every one of these careless words is going to come back to haunt you. There will be a time of Reckoning. Words are powerful; take them seriously. Words can be your salvation. Words can also be your damnation.”~Matthew 1:36-37

Rest..Regroup..Return and Let It Begin With Me

This picture above was posted by Melody while Nate was a coach at Georgia Southern. She had the audacity to post this publicly because she was upset with a video John had posted to warn his 4 younger children how evil she is. Here is that video-

John warns his kids LSEE

Please keep in mind that John is not a felon nor am I. Another one of many lies produced by the Landers family. It is well known that I have traveled to the states and abroad several times without any legal issues. As far as Melody stating that Col. Kevin Landers cannot lash out because he is a "High Ranked Army Officer" That is also a lie. Kevin and Melody have pursued me in courts many times to try to silence me with their fabricated lies but each time we went to court, the judge dismissed their hearings. Col Landers recieved reprimand by his upper command to control himself and Melody and their hateful, exhausting antics. He also received reprimand from the courts and law enforcement to stop wasting their time and to leave John, myself and John's family alone. Melody, on the other hand doesn't follow authority and I dare say that over Kevin's career has embarrassed him to his soldiers and upper command with her evilness.

In reference to John and the lies being told about him-John is in touch with Child Support and has offered a settlement to Kelly many times. Kelly refuses as stated in this blog.
Melody also mentioned in this Facebook post below that she and Kevin are not alienating because they have no children in their home. At the time Melody posted this-that statement is the truth. But, my youngest son Justin was forbade contact with me or his three older siblings for over 10 years. Kevin Sr. held Justin as collateral to punish myself and my 3 older children for not wanting to be around his abuses. But as soon as Justin turned 18, he left his fathers home. In typical abuser form, Kevin Sr. has now disowned Justin as well. Justin was the one that suffered the most because he was forced to live with his father and Melody's abuses the longest. Kevin Sr., Melody and Kelly are active alienators. Parental alienation is mean, it's wrong and it's child abuse.

My intention with the blog was not to try to destroy lives or ruin careers. Kevin Sr. and Kelly are doing just fine. Kevin Sr. just retired as a Colonel is the military and Kelly is making plenty of money with Chick-fil-a as a corporate secretary. One of my intentions in writing this blog is to ensure that these liars not rest until they admit what they did wrong and fix the children they have broken all these years.

This picture above was taken at Col. Kevin P Landers Sr. retirement ceremony on Friday July, 7th, 2017. It is public record that Kevin and Melody will retire in Wilmington, NC.

Col Kevin P Landers Sr. absence as a father continues

In 2011, I started writing this blog. It had been six (6) years since I had filed for divorce from US Army Col. Kevin P. Landers Sr. Numerous years of staying silent came to an end.  Per an extraordinary mentor and the advice of others that knew my “life”  I embraced their direction that I write my story for the public to read.  I had concluded that it was in my best interest and my 4 children’s best interest to share my story. This Blog became my “answer” to  those whom were part of my circle when I was married to Kevin. My ex was spewing lies about me and people were wanting an account from me concerning the false accusations Kevin was directing at me. Horrific lies told to my family, my friends and most importantly our children. I stayed quiet from 2005 until 2011 because I needed time to heal and gain confidence again. When I started to get bombarded with emails and phone calls from strangers and family members, I headed the advice given to me so that I could use my voice and stand up for myself against an abuser(s) and direct people to this Blog.

I chose NOT to write anonymously and to also name my abuser and his current wife Melody Morrison Wilson Landers. I made these decisions after much thought and consideration knowing that Kevin and Melody would more than likely take me to court...which they did in 2012. Because I reside in Mexico, Kevin and Melody thought that I would not be represented over 1,000 miles away in Colorado Springs, CO. Upon being served 48 hrs notice of the court date, I was able to have legal counsel AND use my voice via telephonic conference. While reading the allegations against me that both Kevin and Melody filed UNDER OATH, I was once again appalled at the lies they had written. One in particular is that Kevin claimed that he filed for divorce and won sole custody of our 4 children. After 18 years of his physical, sexual and verbal abuses, I am the one who filed for divorce in April 2005 and we had joint custody at that time. Both he and Melody also swore to the El Paso county court that I had threatened to kill them, burn down their home and kill their late son Kyle Ray Wilson. It amazes me how Kevin and Melody swore under oath yet claim to be God fearing Christians. It is unethical, it is sociopath, it is in violation of the US Army Code and it is against the law.

You can read in more detail what transpired during the court hearing in El Paso County Colorado by clicking on the link:

http://catherinelanders2010-recreatingmyself.blogspot.mx/2012/03/abusers-censorship-request-denied-by.html

Kevin requested that the judge order me to take down my blog and Judge Curtis denied his request. As per his abusive character, he was not happy about her judgement but he and Melody started telling people that they have a permanent restraining order and that I am a felon running from the law and hiding in Mexico. Their lies escalated to such an insane, extreme level and they started posting publicly  that they went to the Supreme Court and I was ordered to remove all my social media sites. I have a screenshot of a transcribed FALSE court hearing that never took place. An acquaintance that reads Melody’s private blogs sent me the fake court proceeding order. Here is a link to Melody’s 2 different blogs that consist of very slanderous allegations against me and John and our children.
http://thelanderssaga.blogspot.com/
http://kevinmelody.blogspot.com/ 

Col. Kevin P. Landers Sr. and Melody Morrison Wilson Landers have stated and posted publicly that I have warrants out for my arrest in both Mexico and the United States. And go on to claim that if and/or when I cross the border, I will be arrested on the spot. As most all of you know from my prior blog entry, I ATTENDED-in-person my son’s wedding in November 2015 and then traveled throughout the United States before arriving to my home in Mexico. I also renewed my Passport while in the USA - without any problem.  I am reiterating this because it is important to see the pattern of how Kevin and Melody live and breathe lies and have been doing so for 11 years now and do not show any sign that they will repent nor stop all this slander and defamation of me, John, our children and our families.

On the eve of our son’s wedding, US Army Col. Kevin Paul Landers, Sr. made false allegations to a local police officer concerning a false document Kevin had produced. The officer contacted me and advised that I was “prohibited” from attending our son’s wedding. I had to involve other judicial persons in New Jersey and Kevin was asked to leave immediately...he left. One would think that the Colonel would learn his lesson and stop all his lies and hatred towards me and our 4 children, but he has not.

Our 4 children want to have a relationship with their Mom and Dad. However, Kevin continues to make it very clear that if our children have a relationship with me, he will ban them from his life; He did so again recently with our 24 year old daughter.

How can any logical thinking human being admire or even respect a man, a soldier, an Army officer that demands his children have nothing to do with their mother and IF our son’s/daughter’s acknowledge their mom, they will be disowned by their father!

I know and mentor to many parents (dad’s included) that battle the courts and with their ex’s everyday in an effort to fight to be included in their child’s life. My John has battled with his ex Kelly for years in efforts to hold his children again. He even offered her sizable settlements and she refused it because she does not want John to be the wonderful father he is to his own children. Children that are now also becoming young adults that will eventually seek John out for answers as my children have done with me. What is going to be devastating to the Baker children is that they were lied to by their mother Kelly about why John is not in their life as of today. John prays about seeing his children everyday because he is a loving father.

Kevin has an unequivocal choice to have a relationship with our children and HE chooses not to be in their life. The children can confirm, that I have NEVER requested that they alienate their dad...I think it would be best for them to have a relationship with their father. Over the years these children have longed to have a relationship with their dad yet he continues to play the victim and disregards them because they want a relationship with both of us.

Kevin hates me more than he loves our children and that is so heart wrenching not only to me...but to 4 innocent children that don’t deserve all the anger he continues to dish out.

In the past, I tried to communicate with Kevin in reference to our children and he refuses to discuss their well being with me. We brought these 4 beautiful souls into this world and whether we dislike each other or not, we have a responsibility to support, love and embrace our children regardless of the past or our divorce. Kevin has a lot of excuses as to why he chose to shun our children but there is not one reasonable excuse to shut out any of the children involved.

Melody ONLY claims love for her late son Kyle Ray. She refuses to acknowledge her daughter.

Our children are not playing cards that we disregard when we don’t like what has been dealt to us. They are human beings that one day become adults and parents as well and because of this, it is our job as loving parents to try to show by example of how responsible, loving adults act and thus far Kevin and Melody display not only hateful actions but also damaging results. We adults brought children into this world and it will forever be our responsibility to ensure that our children are safe, happy, thriving and feel loved by us. Five children don't feel loved by Kevin nor Melody and that is one child too many. To all the readers that interact with Melody and Kevin on a daily basis or have been to their home, is it not odd that there is not one picture or verbal acknowledgment that Kevin has two daughters and two sons. There are only shrines of Kyle Ray...a sweet soul that couldn't speak but he had cognitive thinking. I am sure if he could have spoken, he would have a lot to say about the way his mother Melody and step-father Kevin treat his sister and step-siblings.

So, with permission from my oldest daughter, I must once again expose how truly hateful

Col. Kevin Paul Landers Sr. is towards his children. Below is a text message that our daughter sent to her dad. She is applying for student loans and is required to provide a parent’s home address. That is all she asked. She didn't ask for money...just permission to use an address.

Now let me stress something here, when our daughter was sent away several times by her father in 2008/09 he didn’t pay any child support nor did he even take time to visit her while she was thrown away in a federally funded program for low income households (he was a Lt. Col. in ‘08 ‘09). He just hid her away from me and her siblings for years and did nothing to support nor help her. When I found her, John and I took care of her until she got on her feet. Kevin repeated this same behavior with our 3 other children and hardly paid a dime to help them and it's not because he doesn’t have the money. An Army Colonel averages about over $7,000.00  a month with sizable annual raises:

https://www.military-ranks.org/army/colonel-pay  

The little amount of money he did give was ONLY when the children agreed to not have a relationship with me otherwise he shunned our kids out of his life. Kevin and Melody are so engulfed in their own greed and hatred for me that they punish these children in their process to hide all of their lies. I truly pray everyday that all their hatred would stop but I don't see that coming anytime soon and this is why I will continue to write in my blog. I had a 62 year old survivor tell me some very unfortunate, but honest advice. She said, “The day my abuser stopped his hatred was the day they buried him.”

I fear that with Kevin’s track record he will die a mean and dishonorable son; husband; and father.

“A man's success is measured by what his wife and children say about him. Money and accomplishments mean nothing if you let your home fail.”

I will end this entry with one last thought and advice to my ex and his wife.

If they do not stop their continual mean and abusive behavior towards myself and our shared 5 children I am going to continue to use my voice to expose how truly mean they are. Our children should not feel the need to defend themselves against their parents. We as parents should be defending the children that did not ask for a life riddled with insanity and a divorce. I asked for the divorce because I fell out of love with their father. How dare Kevin fall out of love with his children...he is a very sad man that not only hates me...Kevin hates himself.

He is mean; He is wrong; and He is abusive.

US Army Colonel Kevin P. Landers may wear rank as an outstanding soldier and attend his local church, but what does he want his legacy to be with 4 children that will also remember who he was to them? If he says he doesn't really care what our children think and could care less if they love him or not. Then he doesn’t deserve to be a father to MY children because my children are awesome souls that are doing great things and deserve all the wonderful things life offers in spite of the years of hell they have been through.

Rest...Regroup...Return

Kevin and Melody’s behavior defined ~

DSM-IV Definition. Antisocial personality disorder is characterized by a lack of regard for the moral or legal standards in the local culture. There is a marked inability to get along with others or abide by societal rules. Individuals with this disorder are sometimes called psychopaths or sociopaths.

I have also included screen shots per Melody’s Pinterest and Facebook accounts

Melody is an evil human being.

.

This is a post per Melody Landers Facebook stating that she raised my 4 children. That is a bold faced lie. My oldest son left within 3 weeks of living with his father and Melody, my two daughters were thrown away from different homes because their father didn't want them and eventually they came and lived with John and I. My youngest son was the ONLY child that was raised by Melody and his father and sadly he is the most emotionally damaged as of today. That says a lot about what kind of life he had in his father's home for 10 years.

This is a post on Melody's Pinterest.
Melody's current Pinterest account
A post that Melody will delete as soon as she reads this blog. Melody professes that her and Kevin Sr. don't have any daughters and that her nieces are "the daughters they don't have" but yet on her Facebook page dedicated to her late son Kyle she posts many pictures of "the daughters they never had" which are my and Kevin's daughters.
Kyle Rays Legacy of Love Facebook page
Do you know how horrible that makes Melody's daughter and my daughters feel? Not sure if Melody's nieces nor sister would approve of these posts or behavior.
It shows what kind of person/mother figure Melody truly is-evil at her beautiful nieces expense.

Survivors of Parental Alienation by Col Kevin P. Landers

In the 10 plus years that I have lived in San Miguel de Allende MX, I have frequented the consulate's office several times. Of course I must go there to update my paperwork, but for the most part I have been in that office because of the lies that Col. Kevin P. Landers and his wife Melody concoct.
I have been to the Municipals (Mexican Court) to debate & defend myself against the false allegations made by Kevin Sr. and Melody...I'm still standing. Because I have been to these buildings often, I have made acquaintances and friends. This past Saturday, one of these people told me that my ex-Col Kevin P. Landers is once again trying to file something against me. She said that the service that my ex-husband has hired to find me is becoming very frustrated because the consulates office will not help him locate me. 

I am not sure what this is all about, but Kevin Sr. has been stalking me for the past ten years now and it doesn't look like he will stop this hatred. Once again, this prompts me to write a blog entry as a reminder to my readers that:
>Abusers will always Abuse
>Haters will always Hate...and
>Survivors will ALWAYS Survive!
As I have said before, I started writing this blog for a few reasons. One was to defend myself from all the lies and accusations made against me by Kevin Sr. and his wife Melody. The second reason was recommended to me by a mentor that told me that I needed to tell my story. It felt safe to me to write as I have always been a writer. I didn't want to speak out loud just then, so a blog seemed to be a good avenue for me. And thirdly, so that my children, family and friends could learn more about the lies that Kevin Sr. and I tried to hide for 18 years. My children saw their father beat their mom. They saw the bruises, the blood and heard the cries but there are some things that I protected them from like their father’s infidelities, his excessive porn addiction and his desire for him and I to live a "Swingers Lifestyle." As I have built my confidence up in telling my story, I do now publicly speak about the silent crime of Domestic Violence. My journey has been a long one...but more so...a healing, powerful crusade that has led me to a better understanding of how I ended up being an abused woman, why Kevin Sr. chose to abuse and why he still denies that he has ANY responsibility in our divorce and the instabilities that our children have endured over the years.
It is necessary for me to go into a little bit of the past once again to try to paint a picture of the insanity in my marriage to Kevin. I should have left him years ago and I see that as a stronger woman today. But coming from a very traditional home where women raise the children and "stand by their men" no matter what abuses take place, I was not as strong as I thought I was. I was terrified that my children and I would end up on the streets (as Kevin Sr. had promised) and I truly felt that I had no way out.
Kevin Sr. and I had a very toxic relationship. A relationship that needed help many years ago. I was willing to go to counseling but he was not. I was willing to share all of our secrets but Kevin had too much to hide and he still, to this day, blames everyone else for his problems. Things have run rapidly through my head like, I should have called the police the first time he smacked me across the face. I was 6 months pregnant with our first son, but I didn't report him. I thought it would be the first and last time. I do honestly believe that if I did call the police, he may have decided to get help, but to this day I will never know.

When Kevin Sr. and I were living in England in 1998, he was very stressed. He was failing his Topography masters and came home very angry and unorthodox. The children and I were afraid of him most of the time and I did my best to try to intercept his temper tantrums by trying to calm him down or just making sure the kids were not present when he went into rages.
One incident in particular stands out to me because there was a moment that people were willing to help me. Several times they witnessed Kevin Sr.'s outbursts and they were concerned.

Kevin Sr. was pissed off at life so therefore, he was pissed off at me. He always found a way to make his stresses "my fault." We had been invited to a neighborhood BBQ. The Brits are very much about family and friends and on the weekends, there was always something going on. Kevin Sr. told me and I quote, "I have to go to this family BBQ, but I am not going with your disgusting ass so don't go."
Those words stung me but I held strong and said, "But the kids are excited about this."

Kevin Sr. told me that he would take the kids but I could stay home. Please keep in mind that the home we were invited to was our next door neighbor. I buckled because I knew he was going to cause a scene. I had been crying so I didn't look that great anyways and I didn't want to tell another lie as to why I had been crying. I got the kids ready and told them that Mommy couldn't go because she had a tummy ache. So, Kevin took them and I stayed home and cried.

About an hour later, a Canadian friend (I will call her Dana for her protection), walked through my front door and demanded that I wash my face and get dressed because I was going to this party. Of course, I told her no, but she didn't take no for an answer. Let me stress, that Dana and her husband saw Kevin yelling at me at public functions and knew he was mean to me and the kids.
I did go with her but I was afraid at how Kevin would react. My children were playing outside with all of the other children so I felt comforted by that. Dana took my hand and we walked into the house. Kevin was sitting on the couch along with other officers from the Royal school of Military Survey in Curridge, England 

Col Kevin Landers Masters in England 
When I walked into the room holding Dana's hand, Kevin saw me. And his exact words were, "Well well-the neighborhood whore is here."
Dana gripped my hand and told me not to move. I literally froze and kept starring at Kevin Sr. The entire room looked in his direction in shock that he talked to me that way. He got very nervous and said,
"I have studying to do and as he walked passed me, he bumped me with his shoulder. I was afraid.

After Kevin left, I still just stood there frozen. But, to my surprise, everyone rallied around me and started handing me food and cracking jokes and I started to feel more at ease.

My children had a great time and when they asked, "Mom where is Dad?"
I told them that he had to study and they almost seemed so extremely relived that he was not there.

We had a great evening without him.
I started to forget my fear of Kevin because I thought he had enough time to cool off. It wasn't until I gathered up my kids to go home that I was reminded of how abusive he was. He had locked all the doors. Here I am carrying little Justin and Amanda in my arms with KJ and Meg in tow and we couldn't get in our home. It was 11pm.
Kevin wouldn't answer and my kids started crying. The BBQ was still going on so our neighbors could hear me asking Kevin to open the door...SILENCE from inside our home. Kevin was playing a cruel game at the expense of his young children that were tired & had to pee and now becoming terrified.
I tried to hold back the tears but I was so humiliated. Kevin Sr. wanted to show me and our 4 young children that he was in charge and if it wasn't for him, we wouldn't have a home to go to.
Dana and the rest of the neighbors heard me knocking and the begging for Kevin to open the door. I was trying to be quiet, but I truly think that they knew Kevin was not going to be nice after his display earlier that evening. So, Dana walked over and brought me to her and her husband’s home. They had a son that I babysat quite often so he was thrilled thinking we were having a sleepover.
The children and I stayed overnight at their home and the next day Kevin Sr. came to get me and the kids. He tried to barge through the door, but Dana's husband told him to leave. Kevin snapped his head and sneered at me and said through his gritted teeth, "We are going to talk about this when you get home."
I knew that frightening look in his eyes. That dark face, with his lips pulled in tightly as a little spit came out of his mouth. I had not seen him this angry before and I started to shake inside. If I went home, he was going to hurt me or worse kill me because I believe he was very concerned that I told everyone his secrets. Quite honestly, after Kevin Sr. stormed out of the BBQ, his name never came up.
I started crying and of course the children were concerned. I tried to hold the tears in, but I couldn't. My friend Dana brought the kids outside and her husband told me that if I wanted, a few of the officers were willing to put money towards a plane ticket for me and my children. I looked at him shocked and said, "Why?"
He said, "Because we know how Kevin treats you and we want to offer you a way out to try to get your life together and leave him if that's what it takes."
I was stunned. I thought I did a pretty good job at hiding the abuses, but as I ran scenarios in my mind, there were other incidences where Kevin displayed his abusive behavior and I would cover for him, apologize and tell the neighbors, "He's just really stressed with this Masters program."
Obviously, they didn't believe me as these other officers were in the same exact program & it did not appear that their spouses were suffering the abuses that Col. Landers was inflicting on his family.

I didn't know what to do. I wanted to leave him then and I had free tickets. But a million things were running through my head. He told me many times that if I ever left him, he would take my kids and make my life would be a living hell and I believed him. Kevin Sr. was not threatening me. He was giving me a firm, harsh warning and his warning was inflicted on me years later when I filed for divorce.
I told my friend that I had to think about it but somehow Kevin Sr. found out about it and he begged, pleaded, got on his knees, cried and promised me that he would get help when we got back to the states. God, I wanted to believe him but I had been through this before with him. He promised to be a better father...that he would be more attentive to me and the kids...that he would stop the porn and Swingers addiction...That he would stop bringing his anger out on me....all the things I wanted to hear. So, I did something I regret today. I believed him for the 100th time and chose not to take the free tickets. Every promise he made to me on that day was all a lie. He manipulated me once again and I endured his hatred for another 6 ½ more years. Seven years later, what jolted me to leave Kevin is when he went after my older son (6-7 days before he deployed to Iraq) then I knew I had to do something. His anger was turning onto our children. I knew that if Kevin Sr. was able to break down our son’s door, he was going to hurt him and I wasn't going to let that happen. I would use whatever strength I had inside me to protect my children from their father’s wrath if that meant doing something extreme to stop him I was willing to follow through. That thought frightened me. It was time to end this cycle of abuse and it was going to have to start with me taking extreme, necessary actions to ensure my safety and the children's. Hence is why I waited for him to deploy so that he could not try to stop me from divorcing him. I felt I would be safe if he was a million miles away, but I was wrong. Col. Kevin P. Landers knew I was going to leave him, so he either was suicidal or faked that he was, so that he could get on suicide watch to gain an early release home from the war. He had only been deployed 3 months on a 1 year deployment. He came in under my radar and it was then that he started campaigning against me. He was on a mission to destroy me no matter what hell he put me and our children through.

On April 11th, 2005 I filed for divorce. That was our wedding anniversary and we had been married 18 years.

I did not pick that date but I thought it ironic that day was chosen as my court date to go through the divorce proceedings.
I held pretty strong in our divorce battle but the day finally came...He achieved a promise he made to me many times, "If you EVER leave me, I will take your children away from you."
And he did just that. He concocted a lie that I had kidnapped our children and he feared for their safety because I was abusive to them. That lie didn't hold up with the judge and the judge was extremely disgusted with Kevin Sr.’s plot. What did hold up was the fact that I took the kids across the state line (something I did not know was wrong) and the judge had to follow through with the law. As a matter of fact, the judge reprimanded my attorney Mrs. Heather Nichols for not giving me good legal counsel. Heather had encouraged me to take the children to GA for a visit. I fired H. Nichols on the spot and slowly walked out of the courtroom. I didn't look in Kevin or Melody's direction because I didn't want to see the satisfaction on their faces.
The breath was knocked out of me and I was still in shock as to what happened. When I left the courtroom I was thankful for the wall behind me that was holding me up.
What happened next was one of the most evil moments Kevin Sr. displayed. He went out of his way to seek me out in the hallway and started chuckling...an evil chuckle of victory. My lawyer actually had to ask him to leave me alone so he just walked away still chuckling with a strut in his stride. He wanted to see me crying and in agony and he knew that taking my children from me would achieve more pain in me than broken ribs he gave me years ago after he kicked me repeatability on the ground. Kevin knew where to hurt me, so there were rarely visible bruises and the ones that did show-I lied about. Like the blows to my head that can be hidden by my hair, my broken rib could be hidden under clothes and with my lies of, "I think I pulled a stomach muscle at the gym."  I once again chose to protect Kevin Sr. over protecting myself and our children. But, there was no hiding or lying about the pain I felt that day when I saw Kevin's face and heard that evil chuckle. I knew he wasn't going to back down with trying to damage me any way he could because I finally did what I should have done the first time he struck me-I should have left him and then maybe I could have saved our kids years of pain and insanity. Well, Kevin did follow through with his hateful games of trying to destroy me and he did use our children to try to achieve that.

The mind games of Parental Alienation (read definition below) became Kevin Sr.’s focus of strategy and he recruited a team player, Melody Wilson Landers, to help him try to brainwash our 4 children against me.  I have lost much time with my children. Especially with our youngest son. I lost 10 years. 10 years that were taken from us by a mean, selfish, hateful man/father and his second wife Melody. Milestones were stolen from me that can never be replaced with hugs or words.

In those 10 years, his father made sure our son did not have access to me. Col. Kevin P. Landers and his second wife Melody did everything in their power to try to get Justin to hate me but it didn't work and here are some reasons why-
I spent a lot of my time with my 4 children when I was in their lives and I treasured those moments. I was active in their lives. I made sure that my children knew that I wanted to be a part of their days. I treasured being a stay-at-home mom and I took that role very seriously.
I volunteered at their classrooms. I made sure that I had lunch with each of them once a week.
I created a night called "special night" which meant that each child got to stay up an hour later, without their siblings, and got to choose what they wanted to do and eat.
My oldest son wanted to get on his PlayStation and I learned the fine art of "trying" to maneuver the paddles as he would giggle and say, "Mom, you know I am going to win this game."
Yeah....I knew he was going to kick my butt but that didn't matter. What mattered was the sound of his giggles. I can still hear his giggle and I miss it.

My older daughter was very much into to soccer so she wanted to go outside and kick the ball back and forth. I had some of the best conversations with her as she proceeded to show me her fancy moves with the soccer ball. Let’s just say that I never got fancy like her, but none-the-less, I got to know her just a little bit better on her "Special Nights" and she inspired me with her confidence and strength.

My younger daughter is a fashionista. So, on her special night, it was dress-up time from my closet and makeovers. I was shocked at how brilliant she was with make-up and style. She would tell me,
"Mom, you need to get some fancy high heels."
Being athletic, volunteering in numerous venues and a proud "soccer mom"- I had a couple of pair of heels for formals or events that I had to attend with my ex Kevin, but other than that-it was sneakers, running shoes, flats, and sandals. I asked my daughter, "Where would I wear fancy high heels?
She said, "Walmart."
I still giggle about this.

And then my youngest son...
On his "Special Night" he of course wanted to first eat. Justin loved cookies. I am not a cookie fan but the rules of special night consisted of doing what the kids wanted to do, so I indulged in more Oreos and chocolate chips than I care to admit! Justin showed me how to dunk the cookies in milk. An art I already knew how to do but he took so much pride in showing me. After the cookies, he wanted to read dinosaur books and stuff about outer space.
The reason why I think it is imperative to share this is because I did everything in my power to create happy memories with my children. I wanted to dilute the sadness, anger and fear that was present in our home. I wanted my kids to have happy memories to hold onto. Happy memories that would overcome the scary, sad ones. I tried. I truly tried to be a protective, happy, loving Mom that wanted to create a safe, healthy, happy home for our kids. I thought that I had failed but overtime, my 4 children have told me that they remember my time with them and they treasured it.

My youngest child recently told me, "Mom, I would close my eyes and remember all the happy times I had with you and I never hated you."
He told me that he would look at his baby photo album almost every night and smile. I asked him if he still had that album, but he said it disappeared one day when he was about 14 yrs old. Considering that Kevin Sr. threw away any memory of me to try to erase my existence, I am sure it ended up in the dumpster. What a cruel thing to do to a child that had lost his siblings, all his memorabilia that had anything to do with me, and now the one possession he treasured was thrown away as well.
In order to deflect off of arguing and persecution from his father and Melody, Justin said that he would pretend to hate me so that his father and Melody wouldn't get mad at him. He cried when he told me this because he was afraid I would be angry with him. Quite the opposite. I knew he was just a little boy when his father started to put hateful thoughts in his head to try to get him to hate me. 

Things Kevin Sr. said like,
-"Your mother doesn't love you. She left you"
-"She's just a whore who is sleeping with men to make money"
-"She NEVER cared about you. She ONLY cares about F-ing Uncle John."
-“As far as you’re concerned she’s dead! Don’t you ever mention that skanks name!”
What kind of father would say that to his children?
Things Melody would say were:
-"You don't want to live with your mother. She lives in a shed with bugs and only has beans and rice to eat."
-"It’s a third world country and the only people in Mexico are felons, drug addicts and prostitutes like your mother."
-"All your mom does all day is drink and smoke weed like your sisters do."

I still will never absorb or accept that two grown adults (that are parents) would inflict a little boy, who is already hurting because his parents divorced, to all these lies and abusive actions just to try to brainwash him into hating his mom. Better yet, let’s look at it from a different aspect. What if all these things Kevin Sr. and Melody said about me were true? WHY would two "loving?" parents burden an 8 year old boy with such horrible images about his Mom? Kevin Sr. and Melody have told their friends and families that all they wanted to do was protect Justin from me. Well, if what they said was true about me, how would they expect a child to deal with those adult issues...and not only deal with them...why would they paint a horrible image of me as opposed to allowing that little boy (our son) to keep the happy memories alive in his innocent mind. Then allow him to find out who I was without their hateful influence. Why? Because Kevin Sr. and Melody knew and know that I was NEVER any of those things they tried to concoct in our young children minds to get them to hate me. Kevin Sr. and Melody HAD to do "damage control" because they knew they were lying and were afraid others would find out. Well, that day of reckoning is here and that is why Kevin Sr. and Melody never mention the Landers children anymore. There have been times that the kids have tried to reach out to their father.
He says, "You ONLY call me when you need something. Stop using me. You chose to leave so don't call me again."
Pretty pitiful that somehow Kevin Sr. is the victim in all of this and he is the one who is feeling used after using our children for years in his hate propaganda? Our children were used as poster kids by their father and Melody for years and the billboard read,
"Look at this poor father raising his 4 little kids and his live-in-girlfriend loving and caring for them because their mother is a loser."
But, what happened behind the billboard was that two hateful adults, trying to get 4 already broken children to hate me. From stories that have been shared with me, the raising of my children by Kevin Sr. and Melody was nothing more than a hateful, manipulative and fake atmosphere and as of today, it is the children that suffer the most…pretty sad and very heart wrenching to think about.

Kevin Sr. chooses to embrace his children ONLY if they hate me. He used our children as weapons to try to hurt me (and key word here is USE) but when the children decide to embrace me, he ignores them. Keep in mind that Kevin tells our children to stop calling him. But he will use and embrace them again if they hate me.  Kevin Sr. – always playing the victim to try to gain sympathy - such typical abuser behavior.

As of today, there is no mention of 4 children Col. Kevin P. Landers fathered. You won't hear him praise his sons or daughters for doing the best they can after all they have been thorough. You won't hear him mention his children to his mother Becky Landers or other family members and friends of how happy he is to be their father and that he loves them.  There are no more public postings or loving acknowledgments of the "bonus kiddos" Melody claimed she loved so much. There is no more talk of her "beautiful bonus daughters" or her "handsome bonus son"  that she never treasured to begin with. She now posts hateful things about me and our children in order to hide the lies she created all these years. In one of Melody's most hateful, recent posting she claimed Justin killed his step-brother Kyle Ray. All that were around Justin in the times that Kyle was alive, could see how much Justin loved Kyle Ray.

In a prior blog (see link below), I shared several screenshots that Melody posted on her Pinterest that have since been deleted by Melody. One in particular is where Melody claims that Justin was the cause of Kyle's strokes and inevitable death. After Kyle died, Melody would scream at Justin and tell him, 
"You caused Kyle to have strokes and the heart attack that killed him."
"I don't have a son because of you."
"If your father dies, it will be because you killed him."
The only word I can describe for a woman to say this to a child is EVIL. 
Now, with Melody's habitual antics, she will try to claim that Justin is a liar, but as you can see in the below screenshot  Justin is telling the truth.
Melody's accusation of Justin killing his step-brother Kyle Ray and also the fact that she "will put Justin in jail with me" is in the third picture.

So as I stated prior, there is no proof of the existence of Col. Landers 4 children nor the existence of Melody's only daughter. There are only shrines of Kyle Ray. The reason for this is because too many questions would be asked and Kevin Sr. and Melody will have to come up with more lies to overlap the years of lying they have festering in their 'happy home."

As of today, Kevin Sr. and Melody are doing damage control with other peoples children by inviting them into their home. Fortunately these children/teenagers don't live with the Col. & Melody for long periods of time so they are safe. It is Kevin Sr. and Melody's way of saying,
"See, kids love us."
But this facade is not working with the majority of people. It is obvious what they are trying to do and it is quite sad and disturbing that they think this tactic is going to work when in fact 5 kids (their bio kids) chose to leave them and the home full of lies.
But despite Col. K.P. Landers and Melody's ploy to bully our children into hating me, all 4 children are present in my life and I receive a weekly call from Melody's daughter Kayla.The Col. and his wife are extremely frustrated by the children's choice to remain in contact with me.
As I have done with my older children, Justin and I have walked back into time to those moments of reminiscing. I feel it is healing for him to talk about those happy moments we did share as a family.

What Justin needs right now is to remember those special times. It's when Justin started to learn that his father was lying about me, that his father and Melody's fears surfaced. Fears that Justin would find out the truth and start telling others that his father and Melody are liars. It will only be a matter of time now that John's 4 younger children (who are 16) are going to ask their father John and their mother Kelly about what happened over all these years. When they find out Kelly has been lying, there is going to be hell to pay for her…because how can a child respect a parent that lies?
They can't...and they won't!
I prayed a million times for God to bring my children back to me. He has done that. I no longer need to battle or plead for them. I need to make up for time lost with my kids. Time that was stolen from me by a man that cared more about "winning" the divorce game and hurting me, than compromising with me for the sake of our children's broken hearts.
I am not a perfect mother but my love for my children is perfectly real and no one is going to take that love away from me. They may have taken my kids for awhile, but they never took away my love for them and my children's love for me.
This is where most of my energy goes today. I am trying to focus on reuniting these children with each other and the family members they were forbidden to have contact with. There are no more battles over the young children that I helped raise because they are not young children anymore. They are young adults that need a parent that cheers them on in their pursuits to find out who they are.
What matters is that I want our children to have a loving, guiding, non-judgmental, supporting source that they feel secure going to. Something they did not receive in their father’s home. I want our children to know that they can trust me. That I value their opinions and respect their boundaries. I want our children to know that they can trust me as their encourager and I will try to be the best guidance that I can. I want them to know that they are going to make mistakes and they may fail at a task but it doesn't mean they are failures. That they are important assets to our society and that their lives matter. I want them to be a part of my life no matter what choices they make.

I want to be that parent.
I am that parent.
And whether they choose to embrace their father or not, I will not turn them away no matter whom they choose to love. I want to use my energy to re-build my relationship with my kids and their significant others. I cannot express how thankful I am to have that opportunity today and every day after...

"It’s not only children who grow. Parents do, too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. I can’t tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can do is reach for it, myself." 
~Joyce Maynard 

Melody's hatred and lies posted on her Pinterest link
Parental Alienation Defined

Col Kevin P. Landers.....turning dreams into nightmares

I felt compelled to post this entry. I have been abuse free for 10 years now and for this-I am very thankful. I have written about my life with my abuser, Col Kevin P. Landers SR in this blog and my writings have become a part of my healing. But, although most of my days are filled with much happiness, work, and my need to let go, my mind still reminds me sometimes of my past in my dreams.

I had a very realistic dream last night, which I wish was my reality.

I dreamed that Kevin and I were living in my parents’ home in Chicago. My dreams seem to take place in that home when my subconscious goes to a sad place.

This was my dream:
Kevin had come home in a bad mood. Something that was realistically typical with him. He wanted to fight with me. He kept complaining about superficial things and I knew that it was going to be a long night. I tried to ask him if he wanted me to reheat his dinner or make a cup of coffee. But he was not in the mood for my kindness. Because of this, I knew a fight was going to break out. I told him that I was going into the living room to watch some TV. He followed me. I asked him if there was something he wanted to watch and he said no. He just kept staring at me.
So, I proceeded to go into the kitchen, he followed me. I once again asked him if he wanted me to make him something and he said, "No" and still kept staring at me.

So I left the kitchen and proceeded to go upstairs. There were 14 steps in that home. I know there were 14, because I used to count them especially when my mom would ask me to get my baby brother from his crib. I would count on the way down with him..."one, two, three, four...." and he would giggle.

In this dream, I decided that I just wanted to go to sleep so I lay in the bed on my back with my feet crossed, my hands behind my head and my eyes closed. I started to doze off to my breathing and then all the sudden the light was turned on. I jolted and it was Kevin.
I asked him to turn off the light so he did...then he turned it back on again. I just stared at him in confusion and then he turned it off, then on, then off, then on...he was toying with me. I was his mouse and he was the cat that wanted to torture me to feel empowered by the fact that I was "his catch."

I got up from the bed and I tried to walk past him. He just kept staring at me so I ducked underneath his arm and proceeded to the hallway where the stairs were. Before I knew it, I was falling down those stairs as my head hit several times on the way down. It knocked the breath out of me and I looked at him. He had a smile on his face. A smile? He was the victorious cat that taught his mouse a lesson.

I stumbled to get up and I looked at him and said-
"First and last time that will ever happen."

I then walked out the front door. It was very cold but I didn't care. I heard the lock on the door click and I knew that Kevin had locked it...I just kept walking down the sidewalk. He opened up a window and said-

"I just locked you out and you will never get back in this house."

I just kept walking and said-

"I don't care about you anymore."

The dream jolted me awake at 4:35am this morning.

I got out of bed and went downstairs to make coffee. I was very disturbed by this dream because this dream was a reminder of the abuses I faced by my ex-husband. There were multiple times he would want to fight and follow me around the house and poke me with his words and actions. When I would try to get away from him, he antagonized me. A locked door did not work because he would grab his tools and unbolt the door itself. There was one time that he kept switching the lights on and off so I reached up on the bed and removed the light bulb from the socket. That really pissed him off so he came over to the bed and flipped the mattress with me on it. Once again-my head slammed into the bedside table and I almost passed out from the pain.

Once I started to cry-he walked out of the room. He didn't care if I was hurt. He was happy that he accomplished his task of making me suffer because he "saw orange" and by God someone was going to pay. It was then that I truly knew that he was in an insane place and he was going to hurt me somehow whether with fist or words. I have learned that Col Landers wanted me to feel the pain that he felt inside. To this day, I am not sure where his internal pain or anger stems from but I have learned on my journey as a survivor that it was NOT ok for me to be his verbal or physical punching bag.
I paid that price for 18 years and our 4 children are thankful that “Mom” and “Dad” are not married anymore. Our innocent kids also paid a price for all the insanity and are still trying to heal from it.

So, in present time, I was sipping my coffee in the kitchen this morning and I looked at a calendar we have by the fridge. It is April 11th, 2015.

This was the day in 1987 that Kevin and I got married in a church in Mountain Home, Arkansas. It was a beautiful wedding and all of our families were present but I remember telling my maid of honor Tammy,

"I am not sure if I want to do this."

She told me that it was not too late to back down...but I didn't. I married Kevin and the next day we headed to Hicksville, NY to start our marriage.

In my dream, I walked away from him when he threw me down the stairs. I guess my sub-conscience was sending me a message that I should have followed through with “the walk” the first time he hit me in Athens, GA when I was pregnant with our first son. But, I didn't. I truly believed his lies that he was really stressed with college and a baby coming. I was raised to "stand by your man" and that if there were problems you should go to counseling. The problem was that Kevin refused to go to counseling and I was now pregnant with another child and then eventually 4 children. I believed Kevin when he told me that I would never make it on my own and that he would make my life a living hell if I ever left him.
He tried to make my life a living hell...but as of today he continues to fail.

You see, today is another anniversary. It's not just the anniversary of my marriage to Kevin. On this day in 2005 I filed for divorce. What is so ironic is that Kevin was doing everything he could to keep me with him including using our children as pawns but I still refused to be married to him any longer. I was finished being abused by a man that promised he would never hurt me “again.” When I went to courtroom to file for divorce, I was so drained and focused on creating a new life for me and my children that my lawyer actually looked at me and said,

"Do you realize that this is the day you got married?"

I went pale and she asked if I was ok. I had no idea what day it was. I was battling Kevin left and right and my days did not hold a value to me and I was hanging by a thread.

Of course after I filed, the court battles got ugly and he bought a better lawyer then me. It's exhausting to even write about it again so please read my prior blog entries. My ex husband is one of the meanest men I have ever known and I am so thankful to not be married to him anymore.
 
As of today, on my 10 year anniversary of being abuse free-so many wonderful things have happened and I have learned many things about the lives my children were forced to live after I was pushed out of our children's lives by Col Kevin P. Landers Sr.'s hatred because he could no longer control me.

Upon Kevin, Sr. gaining physical custody of our 4 children, he insisted that they consider me “dead.” Their father told our children that I didn't care about them and I was always a loser. He either bullied the kids or ignored them. He fought for our children in the courts yet when he gained custody of them he threw our daughters and youngest son into several facilities over the years. It is obvious that Kevin Sr. really didn't want to raise our kids-he wanted to use them in a continued effort to abuse me.
Our children no longer have any physical/material items of their childhood nor does Kevin Sr. No pictures, no stuffed animals, no toys, no books, no letters or things that their grandparents gave them-NOTHING. The children’s father approved of his girlfriend of 3 months to “clean the house of any hint of me (their mother).”  This new girlfriend eventually became his current wife, Melody. All these memories were disposed of by Melody. Why? Because she hates me, she hated my kids and wants to be the center of attention. As she told her daughter once-
"I really don't want Kevin's kids and one by one I am going to get rid of them because I want his money to myself"
Well she accomplished her task no matter how much hate it took. Melody claims she loves her "bonus kiddos" in the past yet now she claims they are horrible, disrespectful children. I have much public proof if she disputes this and will post if necessary.

Melody has shrines of her late son Kyle in her home and understandably so. My children and Melody's daughter Kayla have told me wonderful stories about Kyle. They loved him. If any of you have been to Col Kevin P Landers and Melody's home you may remember seeing pictures in the past of my children and Melody’s daughter Kayla. Yet where are the pictures now? Where are the pictures of “J”, “M”, “A”, KJ and Kayla in their home in Wilmington, NC.?
There are only shrines of Kyle Ray and the other 5 children have been discarded. Why? Ask the Col and his wife and watch their face when you ask them. You will see the lies on their eyes-I guarantee it.

How do I know that Kevin Sr. did not throw away some of our memories? Because I was married to Kevin Sr. for 18 years and I know that he may have threw away pictures of me but he could care less about the rest. Having said that-as the man of the house and the "loving, supportive" father he claims to be-he should have taken control of Melody's antics. But typical Kevin Sr. truly only puts one person first-himself. He had no idea what was going on inside the home while Melody was present and when our children tried to tell him of Melody's hateful acts, he took the wimpy side (as typical abusers do) of the one who has the most control in their household-his second wife Melody Wilson Landers. My kids did not have a choice or a voice in their father’s home and that is why they eventually ran away from their father and Melody's life. Each one of the four children walked away with the clothes on their backs and a small suitcase to include “J” recently. You see, in Col Kevin Landers home he does not know how to parent, nor does he want to, so he would buy the children’s silence with clothes, x-box’s, trips, cars, etc... Each one of our 4 children were bribed with a car/jeep. Our youngest son “J” recently did exactly what his 3 older siblings did-he walked away from all the material possessions provided to him by his father and Melody. He parked his expensive truck in the driveway, put the keys in the mail box, and on his way to a friend’s house called his father and told him that the truck was in the driveway. Something that we instructed him to do because we knew that if he did not-Col Landers and/or Melody would have called the police and reported it stolen. Another manipulative, bribery tactic by Col Landers and Melody using material possessions as a way to control the kids.

After I was forced out of our children’s’ lives they were told-“Look at everything we provide for you” but the kids learned that those material items were a means of control…not a means of a loving gesture and each child walked away from every material possession supplied by Col Kevin Landers. Why? Because what these kids really wanted and deserved was their mom and dad in their life. A mom and dad that may not be compatible anymore but a mom and dad that would be cordial for the sake of helping our kids get through a very rough time. I was very willing to do that, but Col Landers and Melody’s hatred for me consumed them more than trying to offer these kids one thing that they craved-love and guidance. Not an “here’s a new car because I love you and I want you to hate your mother” but a “no matter what, your Mom and I are going to try to work this out because we both love you.”

As of today, my youngest son left as his siblings did (within 65 days of his 18^th birthday). He couldn't take the abuse and neglect anymore. If you haven't already noticed, there is a pattern with these children. Each has chosen to walk away for Col Kevin P Landers Sr. home. The children searched me out because they knew that I would not try to “buy” their love or loyalty. I have no desire to compete with Col Kevin Landers nor Melody as far as the children are concerned with material possessions or money.

These children walked away from a man that makes plenty of money because these children need compassion more than computers…guidance more than guilt…direction more than deception and hope more than hate. They knew that from the day they were born-they will always have all of these things with me and that is why we have all been reconnected after 10 years.
 
The above is a reflection of our past. But on a positive-
Today our children are doing very well.

My youngest son is still healing from the abuse and neglect that took place but he has so many people encouraging him, and like his sisters and big brother-he is going to do very well. My son “J” told me that the one thing that held him together in his most lonely moments was remembering the good times we all had together as a family. This was all my children's survival mechanism and although all of our physical memories have been thrown away...NO ONE can throw away our happy memories and we will continue to create new ones.

I cannot stress enough how much I am thankful to God for protecting our children and bringing all of us back together. My children are angels here on earth and I treasure each one of them.

We will not allow abusers, bullies, or evil ones to distract the one thing that holds us together-Love....unconditional, undeniable, unforgettable love that we all remember and will continue to create and for this-I am very thankful.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things ~ 1 Corinthians 13:4-7