Col Kevin P Landers Sr. absence as a father continues

In 2011, I started writing this blog. It had been six (6) years since I had filed for divorce from US Army Col. Kevin P. Landers Sr. Numerous years of staying silent came to an end.  Per an extraordinary mentor and the advice of others that knew my “life”  I embraced their direction that I write my story for the public to read.  I had concluded that it was in my best interest and my 4 children’s best interest to share my story. This Blog became my “answer” to  those whom were part of my circle when I was married to Kevin. My ex was spewing lies about me and people were wanting an account from me concerning the false accusations Kevin was directing at me. Horrific lies told to my family, my friends and most importantly our children. I stayed quiet from 2005 until 2011 because I needed time to heal and gain confidence again. When I started to get bombarded with emails and phone calls from strangers and family members, I headed the advice given to me so that I could use my voice and stand up for myself against an abuser(s) and direct people to this Blog.

I chose NOT to write anonymously and to also name my abuser and his current wife Melody Morrison Wilson Landers. I made these decisions after much thought and consideration knowing that Kevin and Melody would more than likely take me to court...which they did in 2012. Because I reside in Mexico, Kevin and Melody thought that I would not be represented over 1,000 miles away in Colorado Springs, CO. Upon being served 48 hrs notice of the court date, I was able to have legal counsel AND use my voice via telephonic conference. While reading the allegations against me that both Kevin and Melody filed UNDER OATH, I was once again appalled at the lies they had written. One in particular is that Kevin claimed that he filed for divorce and won sole custody of our 4 children. After 18 years of his physical, sexual and verbal abuses, I am the one who filed for divorce in April 2005 and we had joint custody at that time. Both he and Melody also swore to the El Paso county court that I had threatened to kill them, burn down their home and kill their late son Kyle Ray Wilson. It amazes me how Kevin and Melody swore under oath yet claim to be God fearing Christians. It is unethical, it is sociopath, it is in violation of the US Army Code and it is against the law.

You can read in more detail what transpired during the court hearing in El Paso County Colorado by clicking on the link:

http://catherinelanders2010-recreatingmyself.blogspot.mx/2012/03/abusers-censorship-request-denied-by.html

Kevin requested that the judge order me to take down my blog and Judge Curtis denied his request. As per his abusive character, he was not happy about her judgement but he and Melody started telling people that they have a permanent restraining order and that I am a felon running from the law and hiding in Mexico. Their lies escalated to such an insane, extreme level and they started posting publicly  that they went to the Supreme Court and I was ordered to remove all my social media sites. I have a screenshot of a transcribed FALSE court hearing that never took place. An acquaintance that reads Melody’s private blogs sent me the fake court proceeding order. Here is a link to Melody’s 2 different blogs that consist of very slanderous allegations against me and John and our children.
http://thelanderssaga.blogspot.com/
http://kevinmelody.blogspot.com/ 

Col. Kevin P. Landers Sr. and Melody Morrison Wilson Landers have stated and posted publicly that I have warrants out for my arrest in both Mexico and the United States. And go on to claim that if and/or when I cross the border, I will be arrested on the spot. As most all of you know from my prior blog entry, I ATTENDED-in-person my son’s wedding in November 2015 and then traveled throughout the United States before arriving to my home in Mexico. I also renewed my Passport while in the USA - without any problem.  I am reiterating this because it is important to see the pattern of how Kevin and Melody live and breathe lies and have been doing so for 11 years now and do not show any sign that they will repent nor stop all this slander and defamation of me, John, our children and our families.

On the eve of our son’s wedding, US Army Col. Kevin Paul Landers, Sr. made false allegations to a local police officer concerning a false document Kevin had produced. The officer contacted me and advised that I was “prohibited” from attending our son’s wedding. I had to involve other judicial persons in New Jersey and Kevin was asked to leave immediately...he left. One would think that the Colonel would learn his lesson and stop all his lies and hatred towards me and our 4 children, but he has not.

Our 4 children want to have a relationship with their Mom and Dad. However, Kevin continues to make it very clear that if our children have a relationship with me, he will ban them from his life; He did so again recently with our 24 year old daughter.

How can any logical thinking human being admire or even respect a man, a soldier, an Army officer that demands his children have nothing to do with their mother and IF our son’s/daughter’s acknowledge their mom, they will be disowned by their father!

I know and mentor to many parents (dad’s included) that battle the courts and with their ex’s everyday in an effort to fight to be included in their child’s life. My John has battled with his ex Kelly for years in efforts to hold his children again. He even offered her sizable settlements and she refused it because she does not want John to be the wonderful father he is to his own children. Children that are now also becoming young adults that will eventually seek John out for answers as my children have done with me. What is going to be devastating to the Baker children is that they were lied to by their mother Kelly about why John is not in their life as of today. John prays about seeing his children everyday because he is a loving father.

Kevin has an unequivocal choice to have a relationship with our children and HE chooses not to be in their life. The children can confirm, that I have NEVER requested that they alienate their dad...I think it would be best for them to have a relationship with their father. Over the years these children have longed to have a relationship with their dad yet he continues to play the victim and disregards them because they want a relationship with both of us.

Kevin hates me more than he loves our children and that is so heart wrenching not only to me...but to 4 innocent children that don’t deserve all the anger he continues to dish out.

In the past, I tried to communicate with Kevin in reference to our children and he refuses to discuss their well being with me. We brought these 4 beautiful souls into this world and whether we dislike each other or not, we have a responsibility to support, love and embrace our children regardless of the past or our divorce. Kevin has a lot of excuses as to why he chose to shun our children but there is not one reasonable excuse to shut out any of the children involved.

Melody ONLY claims love for her late son Kyle Ray. She refuses to acknowledge her daughter.

Our children are not playing cards that we disregard when we don’t like what has been dealt to us. They are human beings that one day become adults and parents as well and because of this, it is our job as loving parents to try to show by example of how responsible, loving adults act and thus far Kevin and Melody display not only hateful actions but also damaging results. We adults brought children into this world and it will forever be our responsibility to ensure that our children are safe, happy, thriving and feel loved by us. Five children don't feel loved by Kevin nor Melody and that is one child too many. To all the readers that interact with Melody and Kevin on a daily basis or have been to their home, is it not odd that there is not one picture or verbal acknowledgment that Kevin has two daughters and two sons. There are only shrines of Kyle Ray...a sweet soul that couldn't speak but he had cognitive thinking. I am sure if he could have spoken, he would have a lot to say about the way his mother Melody and step-father Kevin treat his sister and step-siblings.

So, with permission from my oldest daughter, I must once again expose how truly hateful

Col. Kevin Paul Landers Sr. is towards his children. Below is a text message that our daughter sent to her dad. She is applying for student loans and is required to provide a parent’s home address. That is all she asked. She didn't ask for money...just permission to use an address.

Now let me stress something here, when our daughter was sent away several times by her father in 2008/09 he didn’t pay any child support nor did he even take time to visit her while she was thrown away in a federally funded program for low income households (he was a Lt. Col. in ‘08 ‘09). He just hid her away from me and her siblings for years and did nothing to support nor help her. When I found her, John and I took care of her until she got on her feet. Kevin repeated this same behavior with our 3 other children and hardly paid a dime to help them and it's not because he doesn’t have the money. An Army Colonel averages about over $7,000.00  a month with sizable annual raises:

https://www.military-ranks.org/army/colonel-pay  

The little amount of money he did give was ONLY when the children agreed to not have a relationship with me otherwise he shunned our kids out of his life. Kevin and Melody are so engulfed in their own greed and hatred for me that they punish these children in their process to hide all of their lies. I truly pray everyday that all their hatred would stop but I don't see that coming anytime soon and this is why I will continue to write in my blog. I had a 62 year old survivor tell me some very unfortunate, but honest advice. She said, “The day my abuser stopped his hatred was the day they buried him.”

I fear that with Kevin’s track record he will die a mean and dishonorable son; husband; and father.

“A man's success is measured by what his wife and children say about him. Money and accomplishments mean nothing if you let your home fail.”

I will end this entry with one last thought and advice to my ex and his wife.

If they do not stop their continual mean and abusive behavior towards myself and our shared 5 children I am going to continue to use my voice to expose how truly mean they are. Our children should not feel the need to defend themselves against their parents. We as parents should be defending the children that did not ask for a life riddled with insanity and a divorce. I asked for the divorce because I fell out of love with their father. How dare Kevin fall out of love with his children...he is a very sad man that not only hates me...Kevin hates himself.

He is mean; He is wrong; and He is abusive.

US Army Colonel Kevin P. Landers may wear rank as an outstanding soldier and attend his local church, but what does he want his legacy to be with 4 children that will also remember who he was to them? If he says he doesn't really care what our children think and could care less if they love him or not. Then he doesn’t deserve to be a father to MY children because my children are awesome souls that are doing great things and deserve all the wonderful things life offers in spite of the years of hell they have been through.

Rest...Regroup...Return

Kevin and Melody’s behavior defined ~

DSM-IV Definition. Antisocial personality disorder is characterized by a lack of regard for the moral or legal standards in the local culture. There is a marked inability to get along with others or abide by societal rules. Individuals with this disorder are sometimes called psychopaths or sociopaths.

I have also included screen shots per Melody’s Pinterest and Facebook accounts

Melody is an evil human being.

.

This is a post per Melody Landers Facebook stating that she raised my 4 children. That is a bold faced lie. My oldest son left within 3 weeks of living with his father and Melody, my two daughters were thrown away from different homes because their father didn't want them and eventually they came and lived with John and I. My youngest son was the ONLY child that was raised by Melody and his father and sadly he is the most emotionally damaged as of today. That says a lot about what kind of life he had in his father's home for 10 years.

This is a post on Melody's Pinterest.
Melody's current Pinterest account
A post that Melody will delete as soon as she reads this blog. Melody professes that her and Kevin Sr. don't have any daughters and that her nieces are "the daughters they don't have" but yet on her Facebook page dedicated to her late son Kyle she posts many pictures of "the daughters they never had" which are my and Kevin's daughters.
Kyle Rays Legacy of Love Facebook page
Do you know how horrible that makes Melody's daughter and my daughters feel? Not sure if Melody's nieces nor sister would approve of these posts or behavior.
It shows what kind of person/mother figure Melody truly is-evil at her beautiful nieces expense.

Hedonistic Honeymoon

I have been reflecting a lot on this very day because once
upon a time, it was a very happy day. 25 years ago today on a Saturday at 1:00
in the afternoon, Kevin and I were married. I want to write this entry because I
want to stress that Kevin and I did have some special moments together. I
stayed married to him for 18 years because I truly tried to hold onto “the
happy.” I remember the morning of this day very well. My father had wanted to
play an old song by Al Martino, I believe called Daddy’s Little Girl. But, the DJ we hired could not find the version of this song. So, my father approached me and told me that he was sorry that the father/daughter dance would have to be a different song. Although, secretly disappointed, I chose not show my disappointment. I knew my dad was already emotional about me leaving his care. He was a good father. I looked at
him and said, “It’s ok Dad. All I care about is our dance together.” He seemed relieved
with that.

We got married at the Church of Christ in Mountain Home Arkansas.
I had asked my twin sister, Caron, to be my maid of honor, but she was 9
months pregnant, so my best friend from high school –Tammy- was happy to step
in. My 2 younger sisters-Debbie and Susan- were my bridesmaids. Kevin’s best man was his brother Brain Landers and his groomsmen were his best friend Richie Locke and Jimmie DellaRatta. I chose the color of a soft pink because it was springtime and the flowers I carried down the aisle were my late mother’s favorite flower, the Gardenia.
Kevin wore a white tuxedo and my dress was a white strapless that had a tight
waist and then flared all the way to the floor. The train to the dress was very
long and Tammy did a great job helping maneuver it. My veil had soft lace
around the border and it trailed down my back. Kevin and I did the traditional
ceremony but also included a unity candle. A unity candle signifies two people coming
together as one. We kissed both of our parents on our way to the back of the church and then hopped in my father’s white Cadillac that was decorated with streamers and cans. We had our reception at a newly built hotel in Mt. Home called Bull Shoals Hotel. Our wedding reception was going to be the very first one they had at this hotel. This is how newly built the hotel was. Because the manager of the hotel wanted us to give great reviews on their service to our wedding party, they bent over backwards for us. It was so wonderful to be catered to. It was a beautiful place that overlooked the lake and the hills.
The reception was beautifully decorated and the DJ we hired was awesome. When
it was announced that my father and I go out on the dance floor, I knew this
was my moment with my father. My father took me in his arms and whispered to me,
“When I tap you on the shoulder I will be ready to stop dancing.” I knew what
my father was trying to tell me. My father did not want me or anyone else to
see him get emotional. So, I nodded and the music began. It WAS the old version of the song my father was trying to find. I looked at him puzzled and he told me that he asked KTLO radio station if they could transfer his old record onto a 45 record. Then-tears ran down my face. My father had driven to KTLO while I was getting ready for my wedding and did this for me. I will never forget this memory. It is etched on my heart forever.

Both my family and Kevin’s family had a great time. Of course all the New Yorkers, Chicagoans, Arkansans’ and everyone in between had a blast! It was a wonderful party. Brian’s toast to Kevin and I were these simple words,“Cath, I had to share a bedroom with him for 17 years. Now it’s your turn! God Bless you both!” Of course, this got many laughs and it was so-Brian! He has always been civil through my and Kevin’s problems/divorce. He and his wife are good people.

The reception lasted well into the night. Our Bridal Suite was onsite so Kevin and I did retire early. It was a beautiful suite with a huge bed, Jacuzzi, a gorgeous view, androom service. A bottle of champagne was chilling with a fruit basket and chocolate strawberries that the hotel provided. I had never been to a hotel room like this so I was in awe. After we made love, the first thing we did was count the money we received as gifts. I know, I know…sounds kind of cheesy. But keep in mind that Kevin was a student and I was going to New York with no job as of this moment so we needed all the money we could get! I remember we counted $525.00. That may not seem like a lot these days, but we were elated.
We had no money for a honeymoon and always said we would take one later in our marriage. Kevin never made time and I stopped planning on one after the beatings started. I had lowered myself to being thankful for moments of no beatings. I started enjoying his absence. I now know that I just was not a priority to him. Anyway, we left Mt. Home and headed to Hicksville, NY in my loaded down yellow Maverick. At one point my car ran out of gas, but other than that, the trip was not so bad considering we drove almost 22 hours with occasional pit stops. Looking back on that time, we were happy.

I cannot believe when I look in the mirror today, I could have been celebrating my 25th wedding anniversary on this very evening. 25 years is a milestone. KJ would be in college (like he is now) studying computers. M, without a doubt, would be a soccer scholarship student-athlete at a university studying business or marine biology. A and J would still be at home with me and their dad. Together Kevin and I would be addressing dating, teenage dramas and high school itself. Kevin’s and my long term life plan was for him to retire from the military at the 20 year mark. I would have my teaching degree and we would have already bought land in southern Tennessee and would have built a Log Cabin home. Kevin would have already planted trees and shrubs for his landscaping business and the business would be called Cullen
Landscaping in honor of his late grandfather. Kevin’s retirement would pay to help build his nursery up and my income would pay for living expenses and savings for the kid’s future. It was a perfect plan. I never considered I would be sitting here in front of this computer, writing about my “almost 25th wedding anniversary”. When I commit to something, I commit 100%. That included my vows to Kevin. I was devoted to him. I was loyal to him. I never cheated on him. I never betrayed him. I loved him and I truly wanted to live happily ever after. But fairytales only exist in books and this story ended with a wolf in sheep clothing and a damsel that was sick and tiredof being in distress.

Now I want to fast forward to my struggle with leaving Kevin.
I truly battled in my mind what choice would be the best choice for me and the
kids. Stay and hope for reconciliation? Stay and hope once again that he would finally keep his promise to “stop” and seek counseling together as a troubled couple?
Or, should I leave and take a chance of recreating a new HEALTHY identity.
A life absent of Kevin’s physical and sexual and emotional abuses. I kept thinking that when he got back from Iraq, that maybe we could go to counseling. Please understand, I struggled often with the thought of separating permanently from Kevin. After the numerous years of beatings, my body was feeling the difference. I considered leaving him during other deployments. And once again during this 2005 Iraq deployment, I was reconsidering not leaving him. I was tired of his abuses, but I still hoped for his changing. I was hoping that maybe by him facing a war and death, that he would see our relationship differently. Maybe he would appreciate me more. Maybe, maybe, maybe! But, the “maybes” came to a fierce stop.

Keep in mind that I stated above that we never had a honeymoon which honestly was not really a big deal to me. I understood that life gets busy with deployments, children and challenges but the only trips we ever took were because Kevin was getting reassigned to another location. Kevin and I always knew that after September 11th,
he would deploy to war. We just never knew what year that would be, so he and I
talked about after he returned back home from war, we could finally take the honeymoon we had never had. Kevin told me he would plan the whole trip because I had always taken care of him. I smiled at the thought of this promise. I remembered this promise for years and now the time had come for him to honor his duty as a soldier to go to war with his comrades. I was afraid for him, but quite honestly, I thought to myself, finally we will have our well needed honeymoon. As a military spouse, you do not want to think about your solider being killed. You have to keep sane by planning for his return. In my fairytale way of thinking, I thought that maybe this war would provide our marriage with a needed break from one another so that he would appreciate me more. Having said all of this, I received a phone call from Kevin
who was deployed. As a commander, he could call me frequently. He was in a “Green
Zone” and called me at least once-a-day. He told me that he had ordered a pamphlet
on our honeymoon trip to Jamaica. I had never been to Jamaica and I loved the thought of going somewhere I had never been before. Every time Kevin called me, he
would ask if I got the pamphlet and I would ask him to tell me a little bit
about his plans but he said it was a surprise. He had not surprised me in our
marriage with gifts, so this was elating to me. Finally, I felt like he saw me
more than just a cook, housekeeper, mother, or do I dare say-punching bag? One day I received the pamphlet about Jamaica. I was so excited. I opened up the envelope and the first few pages were pictures of the beautiful island of Jamaica!
Then as I turned the pages, it started to show images of adults dancing and
drinking with no clothes on and the words that kept jumping out at me, were ‘Adults
Only”. At first, I thought that was a good thing. It would be nice to get away from the kids. But I knew as I kept reading, what kind of beach it was. I should have known when I read the front page of the name of the resort. It was called Hedonism. At first, I did not know what this word meant but I soon figured it out by looking at the pictures and the descriptive words in the pamphlet. Words like “adult’s only” “nudity” “pleasure island” “exclusive sex” and the one word that hit me “Swingers”. I felt a slow sinking feeling in my entire body. Why this? Why now? At one moment in time, I regretted one evening. One moment that I thought would make Kevin love me more and then I told him NEVER again. I started to become angry with Kevin. He did not have the guts to tell me this over the phone? He just had this pamphlet mailed to me and wanted me to try to figure out WHAT kind of “honeymoon” he wanted with me? This was his idea of a vacation. This was my husband of 18 years idea of a honeymoon. This was his idea of a romantic trip. Right at that moment, I knew exactly how Kevin viewed me and honored me. I was his whore and whores should be ecstatic over a trip
like this? I felt degraded, used and dirty at that very moment. I just sat there
starring at the walls of Kevin’s office and then was jolted by the phone
ringing. I knew before answering that it was Kevin calling about his Swinger’s
Pamphlet. I slowly put the phone to my ear and he asked me if I got the
package. I coldly told him “yes”. He asked me what I thought about it. I sat
there for a moment and then asked him this question, “If you truly love me, why
would you want to bring me as your wife to a place like this so other men can
FUCK me?” He stuttered over his words and then started saying, “Well, we don’t
have to go to the nude beaches and we don’t have to go to the swingers party’s.
We can just hang out where ever you feel comfortable.” I lost it. I said, “Kevin,
what in the hell is wrong with you? I am not stupid or naïve. You will get me
there and then try to get me drunk and then you WILL manipulate me into doing
things I refuse to do. Then, you’ll beat me again! I REFUSE to go on this trip or any other trip with you-EVER!” I then hung up the phone. Kevin kept calling me, but I did not answer. I was crying because of my outburst of anger and my hurt feelings.
Heck, it was more than just hurt feelings. I had a hurt soul. My existence to
my husband was to use my body as bait to “fuck” other people. I am sorry to be
so abrupt with my words, but there is no other way to describe the feelings I had.
I hated him…hated him…hated him. He would never touch me again sexually without
me thinking that he would love nothing more than for “us” as a couple to share
this with others. A honeymoon trip would never occur with me and Kevin. At that
very moment, I determined we would NEVER have another anniversary. Out of an 18
year marriage, Kevin had beaten me regularly since our 2nd year of
marriage. No more. I was drained, hurt and scared of my pending future of
leaving this one man who loved me like he loved his tools. He only loved me,
when he could use me to satisfy his insecurities or build up his walls around
me. I knew where I stood with Kevin and I knew that no matter what I did it would
be possible that I would be standing alone when I decided to leave Kevin. I needed
to save my life and reclaim my self-worth. I could not count on Kevin to keep
his promises.“That you may retain your self-respect, it is better to displease the people by doing what you know
is right, than to temporarily please them by doing what you know is wrong.”~William J.H. Boetcker

REST...REGROUP...RETURN...